Thanksgiving and Final Stretch

Just got back from an amazing Thanksgiving break, and to my surprise... there's only 3 more weeks of classes left!! My first semester has flown by and part of me doesn't even know where the time has gone. Before the semester comes to an end there is still a lot of work to be done.

Two weeks ago was the week after Reading week and for some reason, every time we finish reading week, no one on campus feels like doing any work; me included. We all felt lackadaisical and found it hard to keep doing work, but we had no choice because our next Greek exam had come along. This time the exam was definitely much harder than the previous exam. Our professor asked for very specific details, and many of us were stumped by his questions. Thankfully, God gave me the perseverance to keep studying and I was able to get a 94 on my exam. Personally, I don't think it will be enough because of the way our class gives out grades; a 96+ is an A, and right now I stand with a 96 and a 94. Besides grades, everything has been moving along pretty well.

I am really starting to get to know different people at campus and especially the guys in my soul care group. Saturday before the Thanksgiving week I had the opportunity to just sit with them and pray over all the different things we were thankful for. It was a really refreshing and encouraging time where we spent time just giving thanks instead of always coming before God for help with our burdens.

More recently, I was given the opportunity to return home to New York for Thanksgiving break, and that was a well needed rest from school work. It was really great to see friends and family and to hear how they were doing. I was also really looking forward to doing some black Friday shopping because my laptop that survived all of my college Computer Science degree had finally breathed its last breath. Even though I wasn't exactly able to buy the laptop I wanted to, God was gracious and still let me buy one that had decent specs. One of the things I hear a lot up here in seminary is the phrase "there's a sermon in there somewhere." This is basically said by most of the students about a situation to try and find the silver lining, but I think it is true that in every situation, a sermon could be found. In my particular case, I was really struggling long before black Friday came along on what kind of new laptop I wanted to buy. At first I really wanted to get the new mac book pro because of all the amazing new upgrades, but quickly realized that I was letting myself fall for the shiny and new things of the world. It was really hard to turn away from the shiny new toys that were being released left and right, but God was calling me into the discipline of simplicity. It was true that there was no need for me to get such a brand spanking new laptop, and instead a simple one would be fine. I had long since given up my gaming life, and now all I really needed my laptop for was notes, essays and light browsing. My next choice was turned to the Surface Pro 4, because of its convenience and the many different perks it had that I have never experienced. Once again I found myself chasing after the next new shiny thing, but this, like the mac book pro, was taken off its pedestal upon considering its usefulness when using bible software.

If there was one thing that I had to say God was doing in my life it would be the small things that he has been influencing me through. I don't think I have been completely changed into a brand new person, but I do know that my decisions and my life is now, more than ever before, centered around him. I am slowly learning how to look to and rely on God for every decision in my life and process through whether it was a desire of the flesh or of the spirit. Even though there has been many challenging moments giving up what I thought my heart wants to follow Christ, my life has never been more filled with the Holy Spirit. Of course with the coming few weeks, I will be super busy and swamped with the last bits and pieces of work left for my classes, I ask for prayers to keep my focus on God, and never skimp out on just spending time alone and in his presence daily!

Not much pictures this time, but I'm so glad I got to go

back home to eat Dim Sum!!!!! Chinese food

is super scarce up here besides my

own cooking ><

Seasons are changing~

Fall is finally kicking in and some of the trees are starting to change colors. The scenery up here is really pretty and super relaxing, perfect for studying. Over the past few weeks, there has not been too much going on. The usual studying and working reading and seeking the Lord. I do have to say though, that there were many moments that God showed me just how much he has been providing for me and continues to do so. He has also been continually challenging me to step out in faith and outside of my comfort zones. One such occasion was actually grocery shopping. To some this may seem like a simple thing, but for someone like me without a car; it was not so easy. Two weeks ago I was out of food and needed to go grocery shopping, but the people that I usually asked to bring me along was actually completely busy with their workload, and was unable to make time to go themselves. I was left between a rock and a hard place and felt God pushing me to post and ask the general populace of Gordon Conwell students. This may seem simple, but throughout my time here I have been struggling with just how well I have been connecting with people here, and a big part of me was fearful of the fact that I may not get any responses and would be left unanswered. The fear wasn't so much that I wouldn't be able to get groceries, but more so the fear of rejection. However God gave me the courage to ask and lo-and-behold, people whom I didn't even meet before were willing to offer me a ride. This was just a true testimony to the community up here and the fact that God continually has my best interests at heart.

This week was our second reading week, and what that meant was students were even more sparse. I spent most of this time working on my paper for Spiritual Formation class. The paper was to formulate our own "Rule Of Life" which was basically a guideline to live our lives with. This focused on different areas in my life starting with the relationships with people around me and being able to identify my key relationships. Then different things like spiritual gifts, desires, vision and mission to frame the rule of life. All these would later come together to form a direction for me to follow and live out my life. During this process, I was given time to process through exactly where I felt God calling me to and different areas of my life where he was working in. There has never been more clear moments in my life where I was able to spend time just listening to God.

Speaking of listening to God, that has been the new spiritual discipline that God has been calling me to. A discipline of solitude which... if you know me... that's like the complete opposite of my very being. However I think this is where a lot of growth has been happening. All my life I talk and talk and talk and yea I listen to God and I serve him and I do his will, but I don't think I've ever just taken time to sit alone in his presence to hear what he may be saying to me. Being up here on the "Holy Hill" I have had the opportunity to spend many nights praying and worshipping and listening to God. We have a chapel for prayer called the Wilson Chapel, and that has been a place of comfort and peace whenever I need to be alone and in God's presence. There is just something different about listening in silence without trying to just pour out my problems on Him. I have also been practicing a style of prayer and meditation on God's word called Lectio Divina, and that helped a lot in focusing and spending time in God's word (More information on Lectio Divina below).

The chapel at Sisters of Notre dam MA

Besides the regular opportunities to spend in God's presence, yesterday 11/9, I attended an event called a "Soul Sabbath." This was basically where students who signed up were taken to a Jesuit Nunnery and invited to spend a whole day in solitude and silence. Now who in their right mind would do something like this?? Well I was required to attend it for class so I had no choice, but you can probably imagine the dread that I felt coming into this time. I thought I spent enough time alone and in solitude, but here I was required to spend the whole day in silence, even lunch time was to be done without conversing. However instead of it being the worst day of my life, it was actually one of my greatest days after attending seminary. The passage I meditated on was Roman 8:1-17, and literally everything about that passage stood out to me. On that day, verse 17 was the one that struck me the most; to share in Christ's sufferings. I was really stuck on  that verse for a really long while, because I really had to think, did I really understand the extent of Christ's sufferings. In my last update I mentioned a little about how I felt God calling me to possibly missionary work, but even more than that on the whole concept of whether or not I was ready to pay the cost to follow Christ. At the time I should have known, but God was literally tapping on my shoulders and demanding a response, but instead I brushed him off and told him to come back another day. Ever since that moment, I had been feeling spiritually dry and just continually coming before God to speak again and for forgiveness. It was during this moment at the "Soul Sabbath" where I heard God talking to me again. While thinking about Christ's sufferings, I trailed to think about what kind of sufferings, and for who did he suffer... when I got that far, I decided to take a walk outside and I saw an amazing scenery. I was never much of a nature person, but yesterday I just found myself staring endlessly at the trees and leaves falling. A number of different thoughts started flowing through my head as I was experiencing the life that God was placing before my eyes. Of the many different things God woke me up to, the one that resounded the loudest was his desire for the people. For a while I have been wallowing in self discovery and where I stand with the Lord and my fears and weaknesses in seminary, but I have forgotten the one thing that has always been on God's heart and that I know he has placed on my heart, and that is a heart for the people. I haven't been taking time to really build and foster relationships, but instead I have been just focusing on myself alone. What happens when you place an extrovert in a place by himself for a long time and he only focusses on himself?? =>He starts to suffocate and die XD. God reminded me of my heart for people and though it'll take a while for me to mold and fuse everything he has taught me towards loving people, I haven't felt so filled and excited for a long time since yesterday.

This is the most people that I have

ever seen the Great Hall

There were also different events that happened throughout the last few weeks. We had an open house for prospective students for a weekend which was exciting to just see the campus finally filled with people. There were a few extra students that joined our classes to spectate and lunch was more exciting with more people in the cafeteria. There was also a small Halloween party where some people dressed up and just enjoyed each other's company. Who knew that parties actually happened here in seminary?? We weren't only doing bible study or doing worship XD, there was actual dancing (which apparently some people love and are great at).





Lectio Divina basically starts off with inviting God's presence and than starting off with reading the passage slowly. Instead of trying to analyze and exegete(expound/interpret) the passage and figure out all the quirks behind it, while you slowly read the passage, if anything jumps out to you, focus on that [Lectio]. Re-read it a few times and meditate on what you think God is saying in those words, and then what is the Holy Spirit stirring in your heart about those words [Meditatio]. Next we pray over what we feel God calling us to through the word and just thank him for what he has revealed and continue in conversation with him [Oratio]. Lastly is to contemplate over everything that has happened: the passage you read, the words that you felt the Holy Spirit put on your heart, the words God may have spoken to you. This is the most important and both my professors that taught this advised us to take the time to physically write down what we felt God speaking during those times. It is easy to have a wonderful experience with God, and then just walk away without really taking the time to contemplate and thoroughly think through it all. T
More Info => https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lectio_Divina#The_four_movements_of_Lectio_Divina