3 year degree - (2 years + 1 Semester) = 1 Semester left

It has been another amazing semester, and this time its been 2 months since I last updated everyone. I can't believe how fast time has flown by, and at this point I only have 1 semester left at Gordon Conwell before I graduate and leave the "holy hill." Fall has just about disappeared and winter has firmly taken its place. So much has happened within these two months and a lot of my time has been filled with busy work. As a refresher from last time, my week usually consists of Monday-Wednesday, doing instacart from 1-6, and having class in the mornings. Thursdays is a full day of class while Fridays is morning class and then off to church to meet with people for discipleship/dinner/baptismal classes/fellowship in the evening. Saturdays are usually reserved for catching up with whatever work that I have not finished or meeting up with people, and Sunday is church from 9-3:30, then basketball from 3:30-6. This semester has been less stressful in terms of the work load from school, mostly because I don't have to learn a completely new language, but in terms of overall work; it has been significantly busier. There are weeks where more work is required, and my weeks start to look pretty stressful, especially around the final few weeks of class. In order to tackle the last three weeks, I had to come up with a little schedule to plan out how I was going to finish the rest of my papers within three weeks. Praise God that everything was finished on time and I was still able to spend a good amount of time working and doing ministry. Throughout serving at church and going through classes, I was constantly reminded of the importance of discipleship and evangelism. Last update I mentioned how it was strange that we as Christians can talk about evangelism, and yet not know our next door neighbors. During the rest of this semester, God has continued to place those kind of thoughts in my heart, and as the rest of the Core team at Cross Bridge and I discussed how we will be doing Sunday School and stuff like that, we agreed to the idea of running a survey to gauge where our congregation was at. The last 2 weeks of school was filled with work and also prepping the survey to gauge where our congregation was at spiritually and aiming to work together with them to learn how we can serve them better and grow together.

Besides all the school stuff, I was blessed with the opportunity to go on two trips. On Oct 13,2018, some friends from CHARIS and I hiked Franconia Notch. I had gone on hikes before, but never one that was longer than 4 hours to go up and down; this hike was around 9 hours. We left early at 5:30 AM to drive there, and started hiking around 8ish. We didn't finish the hike til close to 5, and by then my legs were done. I remember how much I complained before going on this hike and all the craziness that must have gone in my head to want to do this. I felt tricked and was under-prepared, but that's mostly because I didn't read the descriptions on the event page... I will say, it was a one of a kind experience, especially since it was raining, snowing and hailing all the way up and half of the way down. Besides the muscle pains, the freezing weather and the constant slipping, this hike was actually really fun and amazing. The company was great and the view was even more amazing. Gazing out from on top of a mountain and seeing the view, it is hard to say that the majesty and vastness of all creation was just a coincidence. As I looked out and practiced my photography skills, I could only stand in awe of God's creation and all the things He has made. The second trip was on Nov 11-13 with Visalia and our good buddies Monica and Peter. It was really nice to go on another trip with them and just spend time in good fellowship.  We took a few days to explore Rhode Island and eat all the cute or yummy foods we could find. We also discovered this amazing store that gave us a great deal on lotion and sea salt that made our hands feel as soft as a baby's butt (that was the way he advertised it to us... and it was true!!!). Besides all the fun places we visited, it was nice to see how they grew together and how their relationship changed since the last time we all went on a trip, and it was great to see how me and Visalia had changed and grown as well. I always enjoy the conversations that we have, and the way

that we encourage and lift one another up throughout the trip.

Another thing that happened in between these two months is the opportunity to preach at Cross Bridge again. On Nov 4, 2018, I was blessed with the chance to preach from 1 Thess 5:12-15. In the process of preparing for this sermon, there were a lot of things going on in the back of my head. I struggled on how I wanted to frame my sermon, as well as how I wanted to structure it. All in all, this felt like one of my least prepared sermons. As I practiced it, days before Sunday, for some reason, I could not get it down. It felt like no matter how many times I practiced it, I just wasn't ready to preach it. After some more time, I was able to memorize the gist of what I wanted to say. On Sunday as I got to church, I was confident that I would be able to preach my sermon, but I had recognized in my heart that this was probably one of the sermons where I didn't feel ready for. However, God seemed to have His own plan in mind, because as I got to church, I felt the presence of His Spirit ready to be at work. For some reason, different people kept coming up to me and offering me prayer, which had not happened last time. Sure one or two people prayed over me the first time, but this time... it was like God knew I needed to surrender this into His hands completely. This really reminded me of who was in control, and who was the one who moved hearts. After the sermon was over, different people came up and shared how the Spirit had convicted them through the sermon. Even though I say it all the time, it is different to watch as God works through my weakness.

In reflection of all that has happened within this last semester, I realize that it has been a season of preparing to transition from Seminary into the real world. As much as I loved seminary, God has

shown me that the next stage in my life isn't going to be here. Although I am still discerning where God will take me, the community that I have at school is one that I am about to move on from. Instead of trying to get to know everyone and make relationships with everyone, I realized that God was calling me to be more intentional about each relationship. Instead of the passing conversations that we have, I tried to instead spend time in getting to know my classmates and those in my church. Especially with how busy I was this semester, I had no choice but to be more intentional with meeting up with people instead of just letting it happen on its own. One specific group of people is my brothers. I never really had much time to hang out with them when I was younger, nor did I really take the time to. However, the more I reflect upon how my first ministry should be to my family, it makes me wonder why I shouldn't try to love them better and spend more time with them. During the last two months, we haven't really hung out all too much, but there has definitely been more of an effort to spend time with them, and bring them along on adventures. Visalia has also been really encouraging in pushing me to spend more time with them and being intentional about inviting them to eat and play. Last thing to reflect upon is the fear of the unknown. It was great being at seminary, but now that I am about to graduate, it is scary to think that my life is about to change again. Although God has constantly been showing that He always provides for me, I am still learning how to surrender my life to Christ completely. With the short December break that I have, I hope to use the time to start applying for churches as well as continue to discern God's will.

Summer's End, New Semester

It has been a while since my last update, so there is quite a bit to catch up on. The month of August started with us finishing up the rest of summer school. As mentioned in my previous post, there was some conflict within the employees that served at summer school, and the situation slowly came to an end. I can't say that there was an exact resolution to the problem, but without a doubt, God was working in it. Whether it be a greater understanding from the employees side to be considerate, or from the leader's side to be more aware of the cultural differences; at the end, God was clearly showing seeds of growth and change (albeit small). Finishing up with summer school means that what came next was the long awaited VBS. Now, right when Summer School ended, the weekend before VBS began, me and Visalia were blessed with the opportunity to attend the wedding of two friends from Gordon Conwell. It was an amazing time to celebrate in such a momentous occasion in their lives, and I am honored to have been a part of that. During that short weekend, it was also a great time to catch up with my old Suite mate who had graduated in May 2018. Going to this wedding also reminded me of just how fast life is going by. It never really occurred to me, but I only have one more year of seminary left, and then I'm out into the world to serve. This wedding was a good break from all the logistics and craziness of the summer, and it was also an entertaining wedding because of the musical and artsy talents of both the bride and groom. They performed some amazing music and even had a choreographed dance!!

Anyway, so VBS rolls around and this was one crazy week. Shout out to all my amazing volunteers who partnered with me to tackle this ministry that God had blessed our church with. I really could not have done it without the sacrifice of their time, and their daily perseverance. During this VBS, God taught me how little I can actually manage on my own, and even when it seems like everything is planned out and structured in our minds, things just don't always go the way we expect them to. Regardless of that, God always brings about His work, and carried out His plan to the fullest. The first day was pretty hectic, and I was running around trying to manage all the last minute details while teaching my classes. Thankfully, my partners and fellow volunteers helped fill in the gaps, and

were willing to go above and beyond to support the work that God was doing with the children that came. The next few days was more organized. Each day there would be more and more volunteers that took time out of their schedule to come and help out with VBS, and once again, I am just humbled by God's provision for His ministry. We were able to have a fun time while learning how to share the Gospel and God's love to the children that came. It wasn't easy teaching children the gospel, and at times it was actually quite stressful, but God continued to show me the fruit of our labor. Whether it be through the joy that the children showed, or the growth in the volunteers in learning to love the kids or lead them. VBS was a wonderful learning experience as well as another peek into what ministry looks like. I am constantly reminded that it isn't about me or how well I can plan or manage things, but in the end, it comes down to my willingness to ask for help from God and my community, and watch as He provides.

As VBS came to an end, I had a week or so left to hang around in New York before heading back up to school. It was a good time to just hang out with my family and friends and spend more time with them as most of my summer was pretty swamped. During this time, I was able to reflect more on the summer that had so quickly gone by, and recognized that God was really walking with me through it all. The crazy summer that I thought would be impossible to survive through was actually over and I felt that I was thriving through it. Besides the time to be with my family and friends, during the time I was back, I also had the opportunity to meet up with different pastors around the area. The English pastor at my church would have weekly meet-ups with other pastors in our area, and they would take

Punishments during youth ministry of course

the time to share and follow-up with one another. Whether it be situations at church, theology, or personal lives, they would meet up and encourage one another. To me, this was a really encouraging sight because this was something that I knew was rare. The more I thought about Pastoral ministry, the more I realized that I will no longer be in the Christian bubble of seminary, and things like "soul care" will look very differently. In seminary, most people there are ready to serve the Lord and care for each other, but outside of a seminary context, that is harder to find. It was encouraging to see pastors standing by each other and also feeding off one another's ideas. Literally, it reminds me of "iron sharpening iron" all within a context where they would also understand each other's cultural and theological context. While talking with different pastors at church, I also got more guidance on the ministry that God was leading me towards. I still want to do college and young adult if possible, but God also reignited my passion for youth ministry. I had the chance to serve with the youth at 3 Stone, and to spend the summer with them. Adolescents have really changed from when I was their age, and yet there are many things that are still so relatable. I was also blessed with the chance to lead a small group during Cross Bridge retreat in September. This year we decided to separate the youth from the adults/college and so I was tasked with being their leader. I was once again reminded of the joy of working with youths, and also the depth of the fears that they have growing up. God was once again teaching me how to love them not from some superior "seminarian" position, but to love them as He would.

School started on September 10, and it has been a pretty crazy month so far. Going in, I had a few fears. I was worried about how working for instacart would look, as I would have to spend my time driving around throughout the day, on top of ministry and school. Thankfully, everything went really well, and by the second week I pretty much had a set structure. I pretty work Monday-Wednesday afternoons and have classes every morning besides Wednesday, and instead of my original plan to take 3 classes and audit one, I ended up taking 4 classes. I am currently taking: Pastoral Counseling, Evangelism and Discipleship, Lifespan development, and Exegesis of Genesis. All the classes have been really great, and surprisingly my work load is much more manageable this year. Even though there is a lot more reading than previous years, because I am not taking a language this year, there is no need for constant drilling of vocab and grammar, which does take up most of my time. Anyway, my Pastoral Counseling and Lifespan Development classes have been mostly theory, so most of the learning comes from the triads that we have to form. In the triads, we take turns being the counselor, counselee and observer. My Evangelism and Discipleship class has been super practical. We are constantly discussing how Evangelism and discipleship looks in our day to day lives while bringing it back to Scripture each time. One of the biggest challenges that I got from that class was the fact that nowadays, we don't know our neighbors. I remember when there was a time where we would learn about the passage where Jesus tells us to love our neighbors, and we would be taught that it doesn't just mean our next door neighbors, but everyone is our neighbor. I remember taking that to heart, and wanted to get to know other people more and more. During this class, Dr. Singleton brought up some facts about how people nowadays very rarely even talk to their neighbors, much less know the names of 8 people that live beside them. That just struck me because here we are as Christians thinking about reaching out into the world and sharing the gospel with all kinds of people, but when it comes down to those that God has directly placed beside us, we fail to even recognize their names. It really hit me to consider that we as Christian's talking about loving others when we don't even take the time to get to know those directly around us!!! My Exegesis of Genesis class has also been amazing. We spend most of the class going through our translations of the Genesis text, and cementing theological truths that we may already know. The class has been really helpful whether in terms of theological grounding or practical applications to our daily lives. The class also helped to shed light on God's amazing plan, and His constant working through everything that has happened since the beginning of time. On top of Instacart and school work, I am also serving on the Cross Bridge core team this year, as well as participating as one of the leaders for their young adult fellowship (CHARIS). This has been a learning experience as well, and being in ministry really does give me joy.

Now for my reflections throughout the past few months. God has really been challenging me to rely on Him more and more. As I continue on this last year where graduation and the future seems so imminent, it is easy for me to start stressing about the unknown and fearing the life to come after seminary. Where will I go after seminary, what church will I serve at, when to take my relationship with Visalia to the next step, what will my finances look like, and so many other questions. During this time, I have been blessed with many people to share in these burdens with, as well as consult on how their journeys with God has gone. God has constantly shown that no matter the situation, no matter the future, He is always with me. He has always provided for me since day 1, and even now as I struggle with the unknown, I can know that all I have to do is be faithful. I have also been learning more and more in my relationship with Visalia. The sanctification is real, and I think God is constantly humbling me, whether it is to move beyond my pride and need to win in arguments or to learning how to be considerate and view things from other's perspective. Even though I think I am usually trying to think from a neutral perspective, I realize that many times I fail to be considerate and "feel" from their perspective as well. If that is the case, then am I really loving others if all I do is try to be rationally correct, but neglect the feelings? Another thing that God has been putting on my heart is this idea from a song I heard, "Ruin Me" by Jeff Johnson. As I was listening to the lyrics, I realized how true I wanted it to be for my life. I feel like I always go through life trying to have God work to my plans, or for Him to fill in the blanks for a set agenda that I already have. Like: "who should I be with..." but what if God calls me to singleness, or "God, this is my five year plan, help me be faithful through it..." but what if God has other plans. I wonder if instead of all the plans that I have come up with, shouldn't I instead be asking for God's plan to be carried out. The chorus just really stuck out to me especially when I realized that if I want to live the rest of my life serving God, then what that means is I need to follow God's plans and not my own. This doesn't mean that I don't plan things out and have some kind of structure to my future, but this means that I shouldn't be the one to dictate my decisions. Nor should I be doing anything for selfish gains or selfish reasons. God has been challenging me to live a life that is willing to surrender my plans, my desires and even my future into His hands, and that is something I know I will be working on even into the future!

Summer Classes and Preaching

During the first half of my summer, from June to July, I stayed up at Gordon Conwell to take two classes and serve with Cross Bridge. The two classes that I took were Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers and Preaching 2. I also started working with Instacart on the side during the small bits of free time that I had. God also blessed me with the opportunity to preach once at Cross

Bridge, and once in my home church at 3 Stone. From July to August, I will be interning with my church at 3 Stone. Logistically, everything has been going pretty smoothly, but at the same time, it has been one of the busiest summers that I've had so far. Starting with the Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers class; I have to say that this was one of the most applicable classes that I have taken. During the class we discussed three different types of care to give to our church community as well as a deeper understanding to what suicide is, and the theology behind it. The three different cares are: Prevention, Intervention, and Postvention which are basically guidelines on how we can care for a person with suicidal thoughts or past suicide attempts. I went into the class not really knowing much about suicide, and not really thinking that there was so much theology behind it, but the truth was also that I hadn't really heard much about suicide within my own church communities. Death is usually not talked about all that much, and much less suicide. It is a taboo, and because of that, there is many different stigmas that surround this topic. After taking this class, I recognized the importance of teaching and talking about suicide. Not to glorify it the way that the show "13 Reasons Why" does, but to have proper understanding of the causes for it, the signs to be wary of, and how we as a church/Christian community can come alongside those who struggle with suicidal thoughts. In the process of taking this class, me and my classmates were also required to write up our own theology of suicide and also a response protocol. I chose to do a response protocol for the Chinese churches that I attended, and hope to implement them within the church. We should never turn away from any conversations about suicide, and one of the most encouraging and helpful things that I learned from class was that; asking about suicidal intent or thoughts never increases or creates the thought of suicide. Instead of beating around the bush, studies show that actually asking someone about whether they have had suicidal thoughts does not plant the idea in their head, nor does it increase the risk of suicide. This is a huge game changer, because I think many people are scared to approach the topic because they think that it can spiral out of control or be the cause for suicidal thoughts to be planted in someone's head, but the reality is that in most cases it does not. Instead, or boldness to ask, may be an opportunity to care and listen and give the person an opportunity to share. There is just so much more amazing things that I have learned from my class that I can't possibly say in this short post, so feel free to hit me up and ask me more about this topic.

So after the one week intensive suicide prevention class, I had two weeks of no class where I just stayed up at Gordon Conwell to continue serving at the Cross Bridge and also to finish up work, as well as continue doing work for future classes. All the while, I was working with Instacart to just earn a bit of money on the side. Surprisingly, I actually learned a lot from the short time that I worked with them. Instacart is basically uber for your groceries, where I would go and buy groceries for a client, and bring it to their house. I had thought that this job would be nice and convenient because of its

flexibility, as well as its convenience. However, I didn't realize just how much this job would test my patience. My expectations were that I would start my shift, and jobs would just flow in and I would be going back and forth between stores and houses, but in reality, the first week or so was spent sitting in parking lots and just waiting. At first, I was really bitter. It was hard because my expectations weren't met, and the coding for the app that was used for the company didn't seem to make a lot of sense. It would have a map that showed which areas were "hot spots," where many orders would be coming in, but no matter where I went, I would find myself just sitting there. I was frustrated that I spent most of my time sitting around having nothing to do. It wasn't until I really took a step back and recognized the blessing of having something on the side to make a bit of money, but also because I spent time sitting around, I was able to do readings for other classes, as well as reflect and talk to God. Honestly, it is kind of funny how it takes a testing of my patience to remember just how easy it was to complain, and not remember my blessings. As I continued working with them, I was constantly reminded to be patient and to instead count each blessing that the Lord had given me; especially Visalia who was constantly encouraging me throughout my frustrations.

Towards the end of June, my Second preaching class at Gordon Conwell began. This class was mostly for teaching us how to understand the culture and the congregation that we were speaking to. The first class mostly introduced us to preaching and helped set the foundations for good exegetical work, while the second class focused more on the styles of preaching and understanding the congregation. This class was also really great and really helpful to practice preaching. I still have this lingering fear every time I have to preach, but I get more and more excited as I prepare my sermons.

Sure, most of the time I am scratching my head and stressing over the text or how to apply it with the congregation, but at the same time; one thing I realized is that the sermon isn't just for those listening, but that it works through me too. Every time I am preparing to preach a sermon and I start worrying or doubting, I realize... my sermon is speaking directly into that. My sermons weren't just God's words to my listeners, but also God's words to me. The first sermon I had to preach for class was from Philippians 2:12-18, and my topic of focus was on complaining. It was funny because it was right before preparing that sermon that I was stressing about the whole instacart stuff, and not being content with how things were working out. Not only did I prepare 2 sermons for my classes, but I was also blessed with the opportunity to preach once at Cross Bridge and once at 3 Stone. Both times were really exciting and scary as they were my first actual opportunities to preach at a church. The Lord definitely taught me a lot through each sermon I preached, and I appreciated the opportunities to practice. I am slowly learning the importance of being a pastor, and the impact that sermons can have on every person that comes in contact with it. Another small funny thing that I realized from my sermons was that they were all somehow connected in one way or another. The sermon that I preached at Cross Bridge was on Galatians 4:8-20, and the topic was standing firm in our faith. I focused on how we need to respond to our faith and that even though our faith isn't defined by our works, that our work is in support of our faith. The second sermon that I had to preach for class, which was a few days after the sermon from church, was preached on James 2:14-26, where I focused on the same exact topic, but expanded more on how faith and works actually stands hand in hand. The sermon I preached at 3 Stone was on Romans 9:30-10:4 where I focused on Righteousness not being centered on works of the law. At the same time, I was able to pull it back to works of faith that were important. I just thought it was funny how all these passages were somehow tied together with faith and works, and how each one became its own individual sermon with different examples and applications.

Shortly after coming back, I had the opportunity to serve at summer school with NYCAC. Part of it was really nostalgic, but clearly I did not expect the huge monster that I was walking into. Before

coming in, there was already a bit of a scruffle amongst the leaders and staff, but when I came back to New York and started serving, the situation had evolved and taken a bad turn. I'll spare the details, but a general understanding is that the dilemma was birth from misunderstandings that came from cultural and generational gaps between the staffs. Small misunderstandings spiraled out of control to become giant issues, and being someone who is serving at church, it was hard to watch. It was hard to be neutral and recognize both sides were right, but were also wrong. Honestly, as stressful and difficult of a situation this was, God was truly blessing me with the opportunity to take a glimpse of what ministry sometimes can look like, and blessing me with the opportunity to learn. I was in a place where I could be a neutral ear to listen, while work with the pastors to learn how to best approach and reconcile the situation. I definitely don't think that I know how to solve the situation, nor think that something like this can just go away, but I definitely see the Lord working and transforming me and teaching me to show patience and consideration. Besides the mess that was caused, I was in charge of teaching the gospel hour portion of the day. That meant, 1 hour a day I would teach the kids about the bible. Throughout the three weeks that I have been serving, I have changed my schedule to basically review the bible story daily, and to work on memorizing the bible verses while playing games with them. On Wednesday's I would invite a different pastor each time to come and share God's words with the kids, thus giving the

kids the opportunity to hear from different perspectives, as well as continue introducing this summer school as a ministry that we all are participating in. Even though kids are still crazy and wild, I was surprised to hear that some of them actually wanted more bible and more gospel. With 2 weeks remaining in summer school, I hope that if the kids don't remember all the stories, that they would continue to remember the power of Jesus to save and the joy that He brings. Throughout this time, I also had to start prepping for VBS. It was a struggle to decide whether or not to pick this up and it was really hard to figure out the logistics, but God literally always provides. He blessed me with wonderful friends and co-workers that came alongside me and supported me throughout the process. He blessed me with their willingness to help out, and also their willingness to share their thoughts, experiences, and advice. There is no way that I could have done it on my own, and when I first accepted to serve by leading VBS I thought it would be a difficult and impossible task. But as God brought people alongside me, and as they showered grace and sacrificed their time and energy to help me, I was able to catch another glimpse of what ministry looks like when it is in the Lord's hands.

Now for personal reflection, these last two months have gone by so quickly even though they have been soo busy. Jumping into it, I was scared that I would not be able to preach as often as I did, nor be able to finish up all the class work. However, God continues to show that He provides in miraculous ways. He continued to show my His blessings in my life daily, from; providing a side job, prepping sermons, teaching at summer school, encouragement from friends and family, and so many more things. Over the last two months, because of the busyness though, I recognized that I was falling short with my time with God. Honestly, there is no excuse that I can give on cutting out of my intentional time with God, but in my head, I was able to reason it away. It really wasn't until I had to

preach at 3 Stone, that I remembered the importance of prayer, and the importance of relying on God. Even though I knew that I would not have been able to get through this first half of the summer on my own, the moment it finished, I saw my pride build up and form strong walls around my heart. My heart felt like it was hardening from the effort that I thought I had shown, but God once again reminded me that it wasn't by my own power, but purely through His support. I was reminded that what I need isn't more of me, but to rely more on Christ. Within the last two months, God has also provided opportunities to be visited by friends and spend time with Visalia which was really sweet as well. I also was blessed with an opportunity to play some part in my brother's life. Even though it was in the form of a bet, I was praying for ways to care for them more, and God definitely provided in small ways. Overall, this first half of the summer has been fun and crazy, and a great reminder that I still have so much to learn, and that God is constantly working in my life daily. Please keep praying for my future ministry as God reveals more and more of what it means to be a pastor and where He might want me to serve. Also pray for VBS, for teachers and volunteers to be willing to serve, and for us to share love and truth of Christ with the kids.

End of Spring Semester

It's been a while since I last shared how everything has been going. Gordon Conwell is finally experiencing some Spring/Summer weather and no more snow!! Over the last two months God has been working in miraculous ways and has shown me His provision. Let's start off with finishing the Spring semester. April to May called for the end of my Spring Semester which meant that I had to get a good amount of papers done by May 4, so that I wouldn't have to worry about school work when I went on my CHARIS Retreat from May 4-6. Finishing my papers wasn't too stressful, instead I actually felt quite a bit of peace as I was writing them. Within the two weeks before the semester ended, I wrote my Revelation Exegesis Paper, my Church History Paper on Hudson Taylor, and my OT Interp Paper. My Exegesis paper was on Revelation 5:1-7 which talks about John seeing for the first time, the Lion-Lamb. His expectations of a majestic lion were replaced with the sight of a lamb that was slain. This passage really brings home the fact that Christ is not like any other conqueror out there. We normally think that conquering is through power and military might or such, but here Christ shows that He has conquered through the sacrifice and death on the cross. Through His death, He was made worthy and deserving of praise. Through His death and resurrection, He conquered over sin and death itself and redeemed us. Anyway, the rest of the school semester went by quite smoothly and it was a really nice time of finishing up well.

During the month of April, I learned how to figure out insurance and other paperwork with post-car crash stuff. On April 2nd, I was in a car crash that completely wrecked my car. That meant the in the days to come, I had to learn how to handle the insurance and say goodbye to Destiny (my car) and look for another mode of transportation. For a few days after the crash, everything still felt so surreal to me. I was glad that I was completely uninjured from the accident, but it did leave tiny scars in my brain. There is tiny bits of trauma still left in my heart, but nothing too big. Anyway, it was just a really confusing and depressing time of figuring out how to talk with the insurance about the situation and try to repeal the tickets that were charged to me. However, during this time of helplessness, God really showed me His provision. The first would be a major shout-out to my friend Cameron who drove me down to Connecticut a few days after my car crash. I needed to go back to the auto-shop to junk my car, but that shop was all the way back in Connecticut where I had crashed (that's a two and a half hour drive one way!!!). In the midst of him working through a tough and work-filled semester, as well as planning for his wedding, he graciously drove me there and back. God also showed me his provision when it came to me serving and doing ministry at my church. I knew how it felt to be in Gordon Conwell and not have a car and I was worried that I would be helpless and stranded once again, unable to get to church or fellowship. However, there was not a moment when I felt like I wasn't able to get where I needed to because of the kindness and generosity of my friends at Gordon. Shout-out to Petek and Enoch and his family who were willing to lend me their car whether to drive to church, groceries, etc. I honestly don't know what I would do without their generosity. After handling the insurance stuff, next came buying another car to get around. The first time I had to buy a car, I was scared and nervous cuz I had never done it before and honestly, I knew nothing about cars. It was due to God's providence that He blessed me with Destiny (my old car, may she rest in peace... or pieces), so I knew that He would continue to provide; and that is just what He did. God worked in multiple way during this new search for a car, but most prominently, it was once again through the generosity and kindness of the people around me. First and foremost would be the offers that I had received. My pastor was gracious enough to help me send an email to the members of the church concerning my circumstances and need for a car, and different people contacted me about cars. What broke my heart wasn't just the fact that people were willing to step to the plate in my time of need, but also their willingness to meet my needs. Being a Seminarian that did not have a job, I could only count on the graces of my parents for a car, and so my budget wasn't that high. However, the two final offers that I had to juggle between were both from friends that purposely lowered the cost to match what I could offer. In the end, I chose the car that best fit my needs, but that is to say that both offers were given to me in consideration of my circumstances, and were more than I deserved. On top of this, God showered me with even more love through the friends that were willing to support me financially. My childhood friends from church were willing to step into my life during my time of helplessness and

assist me financially. God never left me to struggle through this burden on my own, but instead constantly showed me that He was there and that He had prepared friends and family to intercede for Him to my heart. Now I am blessed with a Toyota Camry that actually looks just like my old car Destiny, but just slightly bigger. 

After school ended, I was blessed with the chance to attend CHARIS Retreat with my fellowship, and focus on what it meant to reach out and spread the gospel to those around us. Retreats have always been a nice and relaxing time for me to enjoy fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters and also the process what has been happening recently. The retreat was a well deserved rest, and I really enjoyed having the time to be reminded of God's majesty in His creation. Shortly after, I was able to return home to NY where I had the chance to enjoy time with my family and friends. It was a relaxing time as well as a good time to prepare for the summer to come. In the coming Summer I am intending to take three classes: World Missions, Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers, and Preaching II. I am also interning at my home church in NY and helping out with the summer school program that is happening. Being back home for the month of May was a good time to catch up with friends and family and to plan out the rest of the semester to come. Recently, I also attended a wedding down in Florida. It was my first time being one of the groomsmen and I really didn't know what to expect. However, this wedding turned out to be a major blessing, and a really amazing time. I got to experience some things for the first time like: going to an indoor shooting range and having hibachi. Above all though, I had an amazing time sharing and chilling with the other groomsmen. We arrived

in Florida 2 days before the wedding, and spent the time just chilling and celebrating the next life stage of our friend. I was nervous at first about how a bunch of random guys from different walks of life would interact with each other over the next few days, but it turned out to be a really amazing time. The first night we spent like 5 hours talking into the night about all sorts of topics: theological, moral, just-for-fun. The next morning those conversations continued for another 5 hours XD. Honestly, God blessed the time and the people that I met, and it was honestly such an amazing time.

My reflections for these past few months have been out of the book "Meaning of Marriage" by Tim

Keller. As I start thinking about graduation and what is to come next, I find myself excited but scared at the same time. I'm excited to finish my degree and go out into the world to serve and love, but I am scared because then I will no longer be in the safe bubble that I have always been in, and there I will have to be responsible in areas that I have never been before. Especially when I think about the prospects of the next step in my relationship with Visalia, I am excited but also wary of the new challenges that it will bring. My reflections have been really helpful on understanding what it means to be in a relationship and what it means to love. I think I've always had a fear that Tim Keller puts really well; "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God." I have always been afraid of being known and not loved, but God has loved me in a way that knows me and shows genuine care and love for me. As I reflect on my fear, I recognize that this is probably not only my fear but that of those around me as well. This then reminds me, what does it mean to love those around me? Am I loving them the way that Christ calls us to love, or is it once again just words out of my mouth, backed by zero action? I am constantly learning how to not just speak or say words that sound good or pleasing to the ears, but act in a way that is pleasing to God as well.

Reflective March

The month of March has been really reflective. My classes have progressed as usual, and I have found myself having great conversations everywhere I went. My Hebrew class has finally finished going through the textbook, and now we are translating through Genesis 22. Through that class and my Old Testament Interpretation class, I am actually finding Hebrew to be quite enjoyable, and really just a treasure trove of information that I had never expected to find. It's funny how God turned my most difficult class this year into one that I thoroughly enjoyed. In my OT Interp class, we learned to do an overview chart, and was required to do one for Genesis. It was a long and time-consuming assignment, but I definitely saw and realized things that I had not noticed before or thought of before in the book. For example Jacob and his situation with Laban. I have always pinned Jacob as a sneaky and sly fellow who tricked his uncle, but clearly there is more to it, as God was the one who told Jacob in a dream what was to happen. My Exegesis of Revelation class has also been really great. It kind of feels like the Sunday School I have at NYCAC, but there is definitely more time to go into the Greek text and see how everything is connected. My Church History class surprisingly intertwined with the Revelation class in that one of the books that we were assigned had to do with the "Left Behind" Series. This was just a good time of reflection on end times theology and how Christianity might have been affected by it.

Besides the classes, the rest of the month has, as mentioned before, very reflective. The two factors that brought that about was: the three storms that we were hit by and reading  "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan.

During the month of March, we were consecutively hit by three storms, one a week for three weeks. Two of the storms had actually caused us to lose electricity up here for 2-3 days each. At first, when we were hit with the first storm and lost electricity, I was rather annoyed. My immediate response was to complain due to the lack of electricity, the lack of heat, the inconvenience of not being able to cook, etc. There was little to no work being done and to top it all off, we kept receiving emails that told us predicted times of electricity coming back which was constantly changing and being pushed back. There was just inconvenience after inconvenience, and discomfort after discomfort. Actually, truth be told, I did enjoy the fact that everyone had to come out of their caves and interact with each other and also the fact that some of us went to play in the snow. As an extrovert, I actually appreciated everyone being forced out into the open, but at the time, all I could think of was how I was inconvenienced by the weather. On the last day of the storm however, it occurred to me that all I was doing was complaining... I often claim that New Yorkers are great at complaining, and being a pure-blooded one myself... meant I would complain about every little thing. For some reason, I failed to recognize the idol that I had unknowingly built up for myself; called comfort. The moment I wasn't comfortable, I complained, and that in itself really shook me. I didn't realize how much I idolized comfort and how easily dismissive I was of all that God had blessed me with. It was a reality check to realize that things that I am so used to like: electricity, heat, food... all of these came from God, but because of how I was used to having them, I did not even consider that they might have been blessings. Thankfully, I was able to take a step back on Saturday and reflect on just how much I've been taking the blessings of the Lord for granted and not attributing to Him what was rightfully His to begin with. Funny thing was, the next day at church, as I was sitting through service, I felt the Lord convicting me of not resting and relying on Him through the storms, and felt that I needed to humble myself and not just focus on my comfort. Towards the end of the service, I felt like I had started the reconciliation process with God, and immediately after the service ended, I received and email saying that electricity was finally restored. I like to believe there are no coincidences in life, and in no way am I saying that God did this to teach me a lesson, but I definitely believe that He used this and timed it in a way that I was able to reflect and remember who He was and what He had done in my life. When the next storm and black out hit, my heart and mind was ready to reflect on the blessings God had given me, and to rejoice instead of complain through the situation.

"Forgotten God" by Francis Chan was also another cause to my daily reflection. I decided to read a couple pages each day as part of my routine before I went to bed, and it has thoroughly changed my nights. I have never really been one to read books on my own, unless I was required to, however, Visalia had lent me this book so I felt like I should read it and return  it to her soon. To my surprise, this book was convicting and so crazy. Literally every page I read there was something that struck straight at my heart and forced me to think more and process what was happening. The purpose of the book is a reminder of who the Holy Spirit is and His role in our lives. I definitely recognize that sometimes, He is forgotten and pushed aside, and even to some degree neglected within the Christian faith. Reading this book really reminded me of just how I had been viewing and abusing the Holy Spirit in my life and how I should be seeing the Holy Spirit. Instead of just as some mystical spirit that we have no contact with, the Holy Spirit is very truly God and dwells among us. I realized that though my head knew this, my heart and life was directed in a way that didn't take into account the ways I was living against what the Holy Spirit might have wanted. I definitely took the Holy Spirit for granted multiple times and even tried to manipulate it. There were also times where I feared asking too much of the Holy Spirit, in fear of not having my prayers answered, and of course there were times where I tried to pray prayers in a way that sounded humble enough to be answered. I was not treating the Holy Spirit as part of the God-head, and instead been neglecting my relationship with him. This was a real wake up call, especially since I remembered a time when I had relied on the Holy Spirit for every conversation I would have and every prayer that I prayed. Somehow, someway, I had fallen short of that, but God had reminded me once again and been teaching me this year how to live a life reflective of what I say I believe in.

Like usual, I had a reading week, and this time it just so happened to fall on Easter Sunday as well. The whole week I was back, I was able to catch up and have really great conversations with my friends and family. Not only that, I was able to spend time with my family and Visalia, as well as witness the baptism of a childhood friend. Praise God, for all the people that were baptized this year, and for the chance to witness many Christians that I had watched grow up to become the man and woman that they are now, and that God was molding them to be. This reading week I also started to talk with Visalia about the prospects of a future together. The process was challenging and exciting at the same time. Challenging because of all the uncertainties and fears that we had of the future, which brought about a lot of stress and worry, but exciting because of the possibility of a future together. Throughout this month, we had been discussing it and asking our friends and family members to keep us in their prayers. We definitely spent a good amount of time stressing over details and logistics, as well as the fear of not knowing what would happen in the future, or even where we would be in the future. I thought that these were healthy first steps, and truth be told, I am still a little shook that they happened. In my mind, I am still thinking that I am barely an adult, but here I am considering and thinking about starting a new life with someone. It terrifies me that I can't be sure of the future and that I can't just plan everything out because there are just many different uncertainties, but I think God has really been proving himself faithful and reminding me of His righteousness daily. More reflection happened on April 2nd as I was driving from New York with two friends to go back Gordon Conwell. The snow had hit us pretty hard, and it just so happened that it would be snowing

the whole time I would be driving up, and stop right after I was done, or so the online weather reports claimed. While driving through Connecticut we ended up in a car accident that led to my car becoming completely destroyed. I will explain in more details down below, but that situation completely took me by surprise. I always think these things happen to other people, but I am a good driver and this won't happen to me, or I am careful so I won't let this happen to me. Little did I know what God had in store for me to learn that day. From the start of the crash til figuring out insurance and car rentals and getting back safely to Gordon Conwell, I felt like my mind was just stuck in this "goal oriented" mindset. I knew what I needed to do and how I had to accomplish it, and so I didn't have the time to really sit down and realize... I just survived a car crash. Praise God that no one was injured besides my friend, who broke her hand, but everyone else seemed to be fine. I am actually completely fine, my back feels a little bit sore, but my neck and body feels like there isn't anything wrong with it. No one needs to tell me twice how blessed I am to survive that crash, because it was pretty crazy.

Upon the drive back and more reflection on my own, I realized just how much God could have been teaching me through this. I definitely think that there is an aspect of humility. I had taken pride in driving manual, and was also judging the other drivers that were slowly making their way through the storm on the day of the drive. Lo and behold, as I was joking about them, I ended up in a car accident myself. Another lesson that I think God brought across in my mind was how I had taken this car for granted. When I was first blessed with this car, I remember how much God had provided in my time of need, and how blessed I was to be able to bless other people by driving them around. I definitely appreciated and was thankful for the car. But somehow, somewhere down the line, I started to desire and want a better car. I was happy with mine, but not satisfied. I started desiring newer, better, shinier, and started taking my car for granted. I definitely believe the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. It has been something I have struggled with all my life, but what I failed to realize once again, was that this also was a blessing. The giving was a blessing, but the taking away also was one. I was once again reminded of the fact that God protects and provides. The last lesson that I gleaned so far was that God was reminding me to trust and rely on Him for the future. I barely even know what is going to happen today, much less one year from now. I had been totally stressing and worrying about the future, and all that might happen, that I forgot to consider and think about today and right now. I almost forgot to recognize and notice how much God had been working in me already, and that He without a doubt will stay faithful in the future as well!


So the million dollar question of what happened during the crash. So basically, I was driving on the highway and the snow conditions were pretty bad. I was probably going around 60ish miles in Connecticut when the car in front of me starts slowing down out of nowhere. I follow suit and start applying the brakes as well to match his deceleration. Now you can imagine that while driving and suddenly slowing down, my car was pretty close to his. Suddenly that car switched lanes to the right lane while I just kept slowly braking. As soon as he left my lane, I saw that there was a car completely stopped right in front of me, and before I could react, I pressed hard on the brake, but was not able to stop the car, and smashed straight into the car in front of me. The airbags deployed, and I remember the horrible smoke that was starting to fill the car. I immediately got out of the car and went to help my two passengers as well as telling the person in the car in front of me to call the police. I do not know what happened, but there are two stories so far. One is that I hit the car in front of me, propelling it forward to also crash into the car in front of her. The other story told by the car all the way in the front was that she felt two impacts, one from the middle car that I hit, and another impact when I hit the middle car and propelled it forward. All I know is that the cars were completely stopped in the middle of the highway, and I could not react in time to stop. After the crash, my car was towed while my friends were taken to a hospital to be treated. Thankfully the truck driver dropped me off to rent a car, which I was then able to drive to pick up my friends from the hospital and then drive back to campus. It was a hectic day filled with craziness, and praise God for the safe trip back to school. Thankfully, no one was hurt except for my friend in the passenger seat who injured her hand and forehead. Now I am once again without a car, but I know that if God provided the first car, He will definitely provide again. Please keep me and my friends in your prayers.

Spring Semester, Second Half of Seminary Begins

Spring Semester marks the second half of my seminary life. Halfway done and it still feels like I only just started... This past month has been a really great start to a new semester. It is my first time deciding to take a weekend course which meets Fridays 6-9:30 and Saturdays 9-4 once a month. I had thought this would be the end of me, but instead, it really opened up a lot more time to do work and s

pend time being intentional with the relationships up here. In terms of school work, Hebrew has surprisingly taken a turn and hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be. Maybe because we have been moving relatively slower in comparison to first semester of it, but the new information is just slight changes to information that we had learned in the previous semester. Unlike Greek which increased in difficulty in the second semester, Hebrew actually levels off and remains at the same difficulty. There is however, still, a lot of vocab to remember so ... I guess that will be the bulk of it. My other classes have been pretty chill and good as well. Exegesis of Revelation has been really good, and honestly, it feels very similar to the Sunday School at NYCAC except that we go faster through the verses. Old Testament Interpretation has also been a nice class. We spent the first class really going over the history and archaeological support of the stories in the Old Testament and the geographical mapping of where things were. I never really had a knack or passion for history, but it was definitely helpful to recognize and go over where everything was and just have a visual picture of everything.

During the reading week for this month, I actually came back the Wednesday before reading week in order to surprise Visalia for Valentines Day. I also went back for Chinese New Year, which was a good time spent with my family. I'm slowly realizing that as I grow up, there is less and less opportunities to spend with my family, and am really starting to cherish the little bits of time I can eat

dinner with them. During president's day weekend I also went to D.C. and spent the time there with Visalia and my friends. It was a nice break from the grind of seminary, and thankfully, the weather wasn't too bad. It kind of went up and down, with a hailstorm on the first day, but the next few days were really nice. It was also really nice to just catch up with some old friends from my Summer Missions  Project in San Francisco in 2014. It was nice to know that even though we weren't able to keep up with one another constantly, that the relationship was still there.

This first month has also been really good in terms of my personal devotion time. I may have mentioned before, but I have been going through Psalm 119, and honestly, it was really repetitive at first. But recently, I have been very convicted on the attitude of the Psalmist towards God's commands and laws and my own. This semester, I think God is really challenging me to be faithful and act on my beliefs and words, and not to just say or believe the right things. As I read through Psalm 119, I realize that the Psalmist doesn't ask God for help and then go and do whatever he wants. Instead, the Psalmist really takes the time to ask for guidance and also actively pursues a life that reflects his commitment and devotion to God. I feel like God is calling me to such faithfulness in my daily living. Another new but not really new beginning is my new commitment to serving at CBCGB. I had been serving in the young adult ministry and Sunday school here, but I had not really put my whole heart behind it. Because of all the reading weeks, I would usually miss at least 1 or 2 of the meetings per month which didn't really give me much time to actually develop and foster relationships as I should have. However, with this new coming semester, I believe God is calling me to be more intentional with my relationships up here, especially with serving at this church, and that is exactly what I have been doing. Instead of coming home for the whole reading week, I decided to only come back for the weekdays and drive back up for fellowship on Fridays. This way I can be faithful in serving CBGCB as well as find time to rest in between all the work up here. This last month has also been filled with great conversations. Whether it be the change in heart or just the willingness to talk with people, God has been blessing my conversations, and I had been able to spend time intentionally getting to know people at school and my church. I also decided to start a GCTS Ping Pong Tournament to help build some community as well as provide some stress relief for the students up here XD.

Christmas, New Year, Youth Ministry Class

It has been two really fast months that just zoomed by. I finished my third semester, and am now halfway done with seminary, celebrated Christmas with my family, celebrated New Years with a bunch of childhood friends from church, took a youth ministry class, and spent lots of time with my friends and family back at home. Towards the beginning of December, was basically crunch time for me to get all my work done and to prep for the few finals that I had had. Thankfully, I was able to get all my work done on time and finished off pretty strong. Nothing really notable had happened besides a few fun study nights and a short visit from Visalia. We spent a few days going around Boston and going to church to meet my church friends at Cross Bridge. It was a nice time of rest and fun after a long hard year. We went back to New York where I spent the next two weeks just enjoying being home and spending time with my family. My dad had gone to Panama for a mission trip which meant it was my job to drive my mother to and from the train station. Because of that, I had more time to spend at home with my family and more time to just eat with them and spend quality time with them. This was something I haven't really done since ... who knows when, so it was really nice to just spend some time with my family. We had a nice Christmas dinner with soooo much food. Honestly, I let myself go during the short two weeks that I was back and definitely gained a bunch of weight. It was totally worth it though, to spend the time with family and to get fat.

During New Years, my childhood friends from church and I went over to our friends house for two nights. This was really special because such a gathering hadn't happened in a long while because, as we all graduated from college, we started going off into different states to do work, so it was just really nice to be able to spend a few days with them. The best part of this sleepover wasn't just the

fun that we had from sharing and catching up, but our intentionality to pray for each other and really take the time to be in each other's lives. I really enjoyed just talking with, listening to and praying for people I've known for so long. Before heading back up to Gordon Conwell for my winter class, we were struck with the Bomb-Cyclone. New York wasn't hit too bad, but it was bad enough that many flights had to be canceled. One of my classmates had intended to fly out of JFK the morning of the storm, but instead ended up being stuck in the airport after a sudden canceling of her flight an hour after it was supposed to depart. Long story short, me and my dad embarked on a rescue mission to bring her back and in the process found one of my friends that had also unknowingly ended up stranded at JFK as well. It was a surprise and definitely a blessing because I was just walking around the airport and my friend just so happened to turn around and catch a glimpse of me walking by. I guess, everything happens for a reason, and who knew, me and my dad ended up with an extra passenger to bring with us.

Soon after the storm, when the roads seemed clearer, I had to head back up to Gordon Conwell for my winter class. Initially I wasn't really looking forward to the class I was taking. I had wanted to get into pastoral ministry, but because I was late and could not register in time, I could not get into that class. Then I saw that there was a family sociology class and wanted to take that, and after asking for permission to take that class (it was a MACO(counseling) class), I was permitted to. However, shortly after, as I tried to follow up with the professor to sign up for the class, I received no response, and so I checked to try and register for my class, only to realize that the class had been unknowingly canceled. I was surprised and realized that now I needed a new class. The class I registered for had caught my attention at first, but when checking the syllabus, I had seen the extensive amount of

pre/post-class reading and work that I had to do, so I was hesitant... but now I didn't really have a choice. As I started to do the pre-class reading, I was captivated by how relevant and intriguing the information was. The first book I read was "iGen" by Jean M. Twinge. This book basically went through a statistical analysis of the youths/teens of today. The book emphasized the point that the teens nowadays are nothing like the teens we were or that we grew up with because of the whole iphone/internet era that was upon us now. Twinge labeled the generation from 1995-Present as being the iGeneration which had easy access to iphones and the internet. This book gave a great overview on the statistic of youths nowadays and how they fared against youths before their generation, and the gap was quite substantial. Whether it be the percentage of youths being engaged in sexual activity or youths and their religious affiliations, the percentage was going down. I enjoyed this book because it gave a very impartial and neutral view into the life of the youths nowadays, instead of blaming them for destroying everything that was set up by the prior generation. Twenge took the opportunity to dive into different reasons that the percentages could be so different in comparison to the past, and usually concluded with the possibility that with the uprising of the iphones and internet, that the changes were a result of it. She didn't say whether it was necessarily good or bad, but left that open to discussion. Many times, this generation gets bashed for how bad or untamed it might be, but surprisingly, things like sexual activity has actually gone done since the past; but of course, there is a lot more behind the scenes which she also talks about. Just from this book alone, I was hooked and excited/looking forward to diving into the class. There were several more books that I had to read before and during the class, each of which were amazing and brought a lot of insight and guidance to youth ministry, but the "iGen" book definitely stuck out the most.

Upon starting the class, I was once again thoroughly shocked by the content and practicality of things I was learning. From a class that was on the bottom of my list to sign up for, it immediately jumped up to one of the best classes I had taken in Gordon Conwell. I was not only intrigued and pumped to be learning so much, I was also filled with a fire to put some of this information into action. There was also just so much that I was brought to think and reflect on about the youth culture that we were faced with nowadays, and how to tackle/come along side it. Some of the most memorable things that we talked about was: the increased desire of adolescents nowadays to have security and control, the importance of the role of parents in a youths spiritual development, the distinction between adult and adolescent, some practical tools for doing youth ministry. In particular, the transition from child -> youth/adolescent -> Adult, stood out the most to me. This was something that I had found myself talking with several other people about prior to this class, so suddenly having this topic brought up made me feel like the Holy Spirit was working some funny business up in here. Anywho, we first dependent, whether on parents or guardians. In youth/adolescent period the person is independent, able to make their own choices and live by themselves. Upon adulthood the person is interdependent, learning how to depend on others and at the same time have people depend on them. Basically being able to be responsible and care for others as well as understand their own need to rely on others in things. This was such an affirming answer because I had been struggling myself with understanding this concept for a while. The fact that adulthood did not mean I could just go off and live my own life, but that there was so much more than just myself to worry about. I feel that our culture has created a generation of youths and young adults that believe that if they move away from their parents and/or make their own decisions, they are adults, but in reality, they are still stuck in this extended adolescent period. There was so much more that the class had taught that I am still reflecting over and learning about, feel free to hit me up and pick my brain about it :).

discussed the fact how nowadays the youth/adolescent period has been extended well beyond what it used to be. The age at which a child reaches puberty to step into this time period, and the point where he exits it when the society around them starts to view them as an adult, has been stretched much wider than it once was. Before the 1900's the average age of puberty was around 14.5, and adulthood viewed to be around age 16. This was a mere 1.5 years on average that youths remained youths, but now, in 2018, the average age of puberty is around 11.7, and the age that society views them as adults, at least in America, is closer to the mid 20's. Just taking into consideration the age they need to be to vote, drink, drive by themselves, rent a car by themselves... our society has pushed adulthood later and later. That's when we really dove into the question when my professor asked: at what point does a youth go from adolescence to adulthood? Not taking into account the age, because nowadays, there are many people older than their early 20's that still act like adolescents. As we split off into groups to discuss this, we reached a conclusion. Most people in our society nowadays views adulthood as being independent. When one can "take care of themselves," they consider themselves an adult. When they can: pay their own bills, live by themselves, make their own decisions for themselves, that is when they think they are an adult. In class we settled at a different answer separating the answer into three stages. During childhood the

person is

During the class, I had been eating healthy all week because of how "free" I was being about eating the weeks before. I ate salads everyday with an orange for dinner, and for lunch I'd have a salad and a yogurt. Life was tough XD, but I definitely felt the difference from eating that and eating fatty food the two weeks prior. After the class, I head back home for another week and a half to really rest up before starting my spring semester, being back, I had more time to spend with my family and friends, and even had the chance to talk with some of my old friends about a retreat they had gone on. I also got to watch my first Broadway show Aladdin, which was pretty awesome. I will say I liked Sight and Sound shows more, but this was definitely an amazing must see show as well :). Overall these last two weeks had been pretty good and well needed as a rest before stepping into another busy semester. Now, the things that have been on my heart most recently are the reality of pastoral ministry coming closer and closer and a

plea for clarity and guidance towards future ministry. Now that seminary is halfway through, I cannot deny the fact that I need to start thinking more and more about where/who I might feel God calling me to serve and the reality of being a pastor. The weight of being a pastor seems to gradually be getting heavier and heavier, and though I can't really say I am fearful of what is to come, but I am anxious. I am excited to start my ministry, excited to go back into serving instead of just taking classes about it, but I am also nervous about performance and expectations. I know that everything will ultimately be in God's hands, and He has shown me time and time again that He provides abundantly and guides me, but I can't help but feel the need to be better, to do well. Something to definitely keep me in prayer about is the future that is yet to come, and that I learn to surrender in obedience and remain faithful with where He has placed me.