Wednesday, May 30, 2018

End of Spring Semester

It's been a while since I last shared how everything has been going. Gordon Conwell is finally experiencing some Spring/Summer weather and no more snow!! Over the last two months God has been working in miraculous ways and has shown me His provision. Let's start off with finishing the Spring semester. April to May called for the end of my Spring Semester which meant that I had to get a good amount of papers done by May 4, so that I wouldn't have to worry about school work when I went on my CHARIS Retreat from May 4-6. Finishing my papers wasn't too stressful, instead I actually felt quite a bit of peace as I was writing them. Within the two weeks before the semester ended, I wrote my Revelation Exegesis Paper, my Church History Paper on Hudson Taylor, and my OT Interp Paper. My Exegesis paper was on Revelation 5:1-7 which talks about John seeing for the first time, the Lion-Lamb. His expectations of a majestic lion were replaced with the sight of a lamb that was slain. This passage really brings home the fact that Christ is not like any other conqueror out there. We normally think that conquering is through power and military might or such, but here Christ shows that He has conquered through the sacrifice and death on the cross. Through His death, He was made worthy and deserving of praise. Through His death and resurrection, He conquered over sin and death itself and redeemed us. Anyway, the rest of the school semester went by quite smoothly and it was a really nice time of finishing up well.

During the month of April, I learned how to figure out insurance and other paperwork with post-car crash stuff. On April 2nd, I was in a car crash that completely wrecked my car. That meant the in the days to come, I had to learn how to handle the insurance and say goodbye to Destiny (my car) and look for another mode of transportation. For a few days after the crash, everything still felt so surreal to me. I was glad that I was completely uninjured from the accident, but it did leave tiny scars in my brain. There is tiny bits of trauma still left in my heart, but nothing too big. Anyway, it was just a really confusing and depressing time of figuring out how to talk with the insurance about the situation and try to repeal the tickets that were charged to me. However, during this time of helplessness, God really showed me His provision. The first would be a major shout-out to my friend Cameron who drove me down to Connecticut a few days after my car crash. I needed to go back to the auto-shop to junk my car, but that shop was all the way back in Connecticut where I had crashed (that's a two and a half hour drive one way!!!). In the midst of him working through a tough and work-filled semester, as well as planning for his wedding, he graciously drove me there and back. God also showed me his provision when it came to me serving and doing ministry at my church. I knew how it felt to be in Gordon Conwell and not have a car and I was worried that I would be helpless and stranded once again, unable to get to church or fellowship. However, there was not a moment when I felt like I wasn't able to get where I needed to because of the kindness and generosity of my friends at Gordon. Shout-out to Petek and Enoch and his family who were willing to lend me their car whether to drive to church, groceries, etc. I honestly don't know what I would do without their generosity. After handling the insurance stuff, next came buying another car to get around. The first time I had to buy a car, I was scared and nervous cuz I had never done it before and honestly, I knew nothing about cars. It was due to God's providence that He blessed me with Destiny (my old car, may she rest in peace... or pieces), so I knew that He would continue to provide; and that is just what He did. God worked in multiple way during this new search for a car, but most prominently, it was once again through the generosity and kindness of the people around me. First and foremost would be the offers that I had received. My pastor was gracious enough to help me send an email to the members of the church concerning my circumstances and need for a car, and different people contacted me about cars. What broke my heart wasn't just the fact that people were willing to step to the plate in my time of need, but also their willingness to meet my needs. Being a Seminarian that did not have a job, I could only count on the graces of my parents for a car, and so my budget wasn't that high. However, the two final offers that I had to juggle between were both from friends that purposely lowered the cost to match what I could offer. In the end, I chose the car that best fit my needs, but that is to say that both offers were given to me in consideration of my circumstances, and were more than I deserved. On top of this, God showered me with even more love through the friends that were willing to support me financially. My childhood friends from church were willing to step into my life during my time of helplessness and
assist me financially. God never left me to struggle through this burden on my own, but instead constantly showed me that He was there and that He had prepared friends and family to intercede for Him to my heart. Now I am blessed with a Toyota Camry that actually looks just like my old car Destiny, but just slightly bigger. 

After school ended, I was blessed with the chance to attend CHARIS Retreat with my fellowship, and focus on what it meant to reach out and spread the gospel to those around us. Retreats have always been a nice and relaxing time for me to enjoy fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters and also the process what has been happening recently. The retreat was a well deserved rest, and I really enjoyed having the time to be reminded of God's majesty in His creation. Shortly after, I was able to return home to NY where I had the chance to enjoy time with my family and friends. It was a relaxing time as well as a good time to prepare for the summer to come. In the coming Summer I am intending to take three classes: World Missions, Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers, and Preaching II. I am also interning at my home church in NY and helping out with the summer school program that is happening. Being back home for the month of May was a good time to catch up with friends and family and to plan out the rest of the semester to come. Recently, I also attended a wedding down in Florida. It was my first time being one of the groomsmen and I really didn't know what to expect. However, this wedding turned out to be a major blessing, and a really amazing time. I got to experience some things for the first time like: going to an indoor shooting range and having hibachi. Above all though, I had an amazing time sharing and chilling with the other groomsmen. We arrived
in Florida 2 days before the wedding, and spent the time just chilling and celebrating the next life stage of our friend. I was nervous at first about how a bunch of random guys from different walks of life would interact with each other over the next few days, but it turned out to be a really amazing time. The first night we spent like 5 hours talking into the night about all sorts of topics: theological, moral, just-for-fun. The next morning those conversations continued for another 5 hours XD. Honestly, God blessed the time and the people that I met, and it was honestly such an amazing time.

My reflections for these past few months have been out of the book "Meaning of Marriage" by Tim
Keller. As I start thinking about graduation and what is to come next, I find myself excited but scared at the same time. I'm excited to finish my degree and go out into the world to serve and love, but I am scared because then I will no longer be in the safe bubble that I have always been in, and there I will have to be responsible in areas that I have never been before. Especially when I think about the prospects of the next step in my relationship with Visalia, I am excited but also wary of the new challenges that it will bring. My reflections have been really helpful on understanding what it means to be in a relationship and what it means to love. I think I've always had a fear that Tim Keller puts really well; "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God." I have always been afraid of being known and not loved, but God has loved me in a way that knows me and shows genuine care and love for me. As I reflect on my fear, I recognize that this is probably not only my fear but that of those around me as well. This then reminds me, what does it mean to love those around me? Am I loving them the way that Christ calls us to love, or is it once again just words out of my mouth, backed by zero action? I am constantly learning how to not just speak or say words that sound good or pleasing to the ears, but act in a way that is pleasing to God as well.