Free time gives birth to busy busy busy???

School
Blessings:

- Workload seems to be pretty low besides 2 really big papers to write
- Getting the opportunity to be more present at school
- Having good conversations

Prayer Requests:
- Diligence to start working on my assignments early
- Wisdom on how to spend the rest of my time remaining up here

During the month of February, which was actually quite short, nothing really much happened. There was only two weeks where I had class up here at Gordon Conwell, so there wasn't really all that much to deal with. On top of only taking two classes, I realized that I actually got to spend a lot more time talking with people and just enjoying the community and fellowship. Last year, I wasn't able to spend as much time with the people on campus because I was working with Instacart and doing ministry at church, but with the lessened class load and the blessing of working in the mail-room, life has been very different. Because of this, I have been taking more time to reflect on what my role is for this year. The last two years have been a little different. The first year was me understanding my identity and being willing to learn from those around me. The second year was still me learning, but my identity as a student had solidified and I was also helping those who came in their first year. Now that I am in my third year, I realized I have been taking more time to care for those who are new and old, and building on past relationships that I have built up. On another note, even though this semester is supposed to be my most free semester, I have somehow ended up piling many different extra-curricular things into my schedule. On top of the two papers and mail-room work that I have at school, I have also set up a ping pong tournament, like last year, to help build community. This still doesn't seem that bad until I actually started working on one of my two papers. The paper is an Exegesis paper of Psalms 46:9-11, (Exegesis: Basically studying scripture and trying to extrapolate information from the text in the context that it was meant to be in) and it is probably the hardest paper I have had to write for seminary so far. The paper usually involves a 12 step process, and having just started it this week in complete confusion; it took me 8 hours just to finish the first 2 steps. Thankfully they were the most confusing steps that I had the least experience with, but that was definitely a process that I didn't expect to be so time consuming. Hopefully I will remain diligent and keep working hard on that paper ><.

Church
Blessings:
- Preached last week, and the Spirit was moving powerfully in the audience
- CHARIS is on chapter 4 of Holy Conversations, and people are slowly starting to have conversations with their conversation partners
- Opportunity to serve in CB Core and work alongside other passionate leaders

Prayer Requests:
- Continued Pastoral Search for youth pastor and Senior English Pastor
- CHARIS members continue to grow in discipleship and openness to what the Lord is prompting them with
- Faithfulness and consistency in my discipleship relationships

Church has been great and smooth. CHARIS has been moving forward with our study into Holy Conversations, and it is encouraging to see us going out and talking to people about our faith. I was also blessed with the opportunity to preach last week, which is always a humbling and learning experience. Every time I preach, I realize that God presses on my heart how much I myself need to reflect and am impacted by the things that I am sharing about in my sermon. It's funny because I'm preaching the sermon, hoping that the Holy Spirit convicts the people who hear it, but God swings it around and hits me first. The topic I preached on was targeted towards all of those who were children... which means all of us, because all of us are offspring of parents. God really pressed upon my heart how big of a deal this was for me, and how important this sermon was in realizing my understanding into bridging the gap between Christians children and their parents. Inter-generational ministry is something that weighs heavily in my heart, and this was a wonderful opportunity to learn and recognize the immensity of the problem that has been forged through years and years of miscommunication. During this time, I also have been blessed with the opportunity to serve in Cross Bridge Core team. It is, honestly, the first time I have served in a role that makes decisions for the whole English side of the church, and the experience has been super humbling and encouraging. Humbling to walk alongside those who have years of experience serving and loving their community, while continuing to pursue the Lord's will for the church. Encouraging to work alongside those who are passionate for the ministries that God has placed them in, and willingness to work alongside one another. Although I am blessed with the opportunity to lead and serve with them, I feel like I am just being blessed with the opportunity to learn from them and work through the different struggles with them.

Family/NYC Life
Blessings:

- Went back for February Reading week
- Tried to help my brother with his resume
- Spent time with Visalia and Old Friends

Prayer Requests:
- Continued reminder that my first ministry is always to my family
- Discernment and wisdom on next steps in NYC

During the month of February, I was blessed again with the opportunity to head home for a whole week. This week was first filled with a fun little adventure with Visalia and a childhood friend to explore a new city. It was a nice chance to just get away from all the busyness of work and experience and different culture that we were not used to, and probably won't go back to. After that, I spent most of this break at home with my family instead of always going out every night. It was a nice time of just enjoying the presence of my family, while trying to be intentional about the relationships that I had there. Praise God that I was also able to go on a little date with Visalia and we went to eat at Ikinari steak house... and ... I know why God has placed me on this earth... it was to eat steak. But on another note, I am constantly reminded of the blessing that she has been in my life, and how much God has grown the both of us throughout the last two years. Prayers for many more years to come, and for wisdom on our future. In terms of moving back to NYC, that has been pretty much assumed, but now comes the fun part of applying for churches. God has been extremely gracious in blessing me with different people to introduce me to different places, so now... I just gotta trust that the Lord will open the door He wants me to go through, and close the ones He doesn't.


Final Comments
Blessings:
- A semester of reflection
- A semester of filled schedule

Prayer Requests:
- Fear of the unknown future to come
- Finishing Seminary well
- Finishing my time at CBCGB well

Like I have been saying, this is a very different semester than all the other ones I have had. Although I am supposedly more free, I have actually ended up packing on a bunch more things to do. Along with my school work and mail room work, I have also continued the 3 discipleships that I have at church and school, continued teaching Sunday School at church, serving with CMC youth core team, meeting with a conversation partner weekly, keeping up with my relationships in nyc, and keeping up with relationships here in Gordon. Surprisingly, my daily schedule has become jam packed with different activities or meet ups. On the one hand, it is slightly tiring to run from one place to another; but on the other hand, I realize that I have been really chill up here in MA, and this is the first semester where I get to actually be busy again. It seems like a nice preparation to go back to NYC. At the same time, I have been trying to build up new habits with my daily devotions as well as recognizing the importance of taking time to step away from all the busyness and just reflect on what the Lord has done and is doing in my life. As I prepare for the future to come, please continue to keep me in your prayers because... I wish I knew where I was going to or what I would be doing exactly, step by step... but that isn't as possible as I wish. Thank you all again for just taking the time to check up on how I am doing, and feel free to hit me up, I'd love to catch up with y'all!!

2019 Beginnings

So, I've decided to change up the format of my updates. I apologize for all the word vomit that usually happens in these blogs, but after listening to some feedback on these posts, I want to try and incorporate a bit more structure. I will still have a space for just my thoughts, but I will also try to list out some key points; for those of you who are looking to pray for me. The key points will be listed first, and if you want to read my thoughts, just scroll down haha. Thank you for your willingness to read and see how I am doing, and thank you for all the prayers!!

School 
Blessings:
- Finished all the course work!
- Only two courses left in my seminary degree!!
- Got a job in the mail room
- New suite mate!

Prayer Requests:
- Finish my classes well, be diligent with the last bits of work
- Be intentional about my relationships at Gordon

During January, half of it was spent up at Gordon Conwell taking my winter class, Pastoral Ministry, while the other half was spent back home in NYC. The pastoral ministry class was a real eye opener, and affirmed many difficulties and hardships that came with becoming a pastor. Ever since I first stepped into seminary, I have always been wondering when I was going to learn about officiating weddings and funerals, doing baptisms and communion, and all the other pastoral duties. This was the class that had the culmination of all of those topics and it was really helpful and practical to learn about it and talk about it with out prospective/current pastors. After the class, I had a chance to head home for one and a half weeks before coming up to start my last spring semester at Gordon Conwell. With the coming of this new semester, I only need 2 more classes to graduate, Systematic Theology III and Poetical Books (Exegesis). Seeing as I usually have a four classes and one being a new language, this semester is really not too difficult. If anything, having less classes has given me the opportunity to focus more on serving at church, being intentional about my relationships at school, and discerning God's will for my next steps. This semester, I was also blessed to work in the mail room at school. I may have mentioned how I used to do instacart, but that really killed the extrovert in me because I would just be doing things on my own. Working in the mailroom has given me the opportunity to stay on campus more often, and interact with other students. One last thing of importance to note is that I now have a new suite mate!! After one semester of being alone in my dorm room, I now have a new friend from Japan. It has been a a great opportunity to learn how to show hospitality and to be saved from my boredom of living alone.

Church

Blessings:
- Led a workshop on suicide prevention with youth counselors at CBCGB
- CHARIS started going through "Holy Conversations," and it has been very encouraging to see everyone learning to listen and talk with their friends

Prayer Requests:
- Continued Pastoral Search for youth pastor and Senior English Pastor
- CHARIS members continue to grow in discipleship and a passion for evangelism


Things at Cross Bridge have been going really well. During one of the weeks in January, I had the opportunity to lead a workshop on suicide prevention with the youth counselors. This was something that I had wanted to do ever since I took the suicide prevention class in the summer of 2018. The topic is so pertinent and isn't discussed enough, so it was a really great opportunity to share the insights I learned during the class, and to walk together in wrestling with suicide. The young adult fellowship that I serve with, CHARIS, has also started going through "Holy Conversations," which is a workbook that goes through 12 sessions and teaches us how to have spiritual conversations with our friends and neighbors. The core of the book is learning how to listen to others and actually have a conversation with them instead of dropping the gospel and walking away. The book goes topic by topic which helps to give some guidelines on what to discuss, but all in all, it is an opportunity to get to know each other's spiritual beliefs and share the gospel in a way that isn't forced.


Family/NYC Life
Blessings:
- Went back to New York to spend Chinese New Year with family
- Had more opportunities to talk with my brothers
- Spent time with old friends and with Visalia

Prayer Requests:
- Continue building and rebuilding my relationship with my brothers
- Being intentional about my relationships in NYC

Things at home have been different. Through difficult circumstances, my parents have started fostering a 3 y/o little girl, which means my house now has a child running around. It is an interesting concept and even more interesting to be a part of this journey because me and my brothers have basically grown up and can take care of ourselves. In the time where my parents finally get to focus more on their ministry and freedom, they have chosen instead to pour into the life of this little girl. If anything, this has shown me what it looks like to have a heart of humility, responsibility, sacrifice, and submission to the Lord's will. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this can be, but at the same time, it is so "my parents," to do something like this. Besides that, during this month, I have been blessed with the opportunity to build closer relationships with my brothers. Through a series of events, I can see God working and in our relationship and mending it bit by bit. Along with all this, January was a good time spent with old friends that came back from work. In the past, I have been wrestling with going back to New York. Whenever I went back for reading weeks, it would seem like I was a stranger in my own hometown because everyone I knew was in a different place. Whether it be a change in friend groups or jobs or availability, New York felt like a stranger. But as I have been discerning God's will for my future, and the direction being back to New York, God has really shown me that there is still community there and there is more to get to know. My relationship with Visalia has also been going well. We were able to spend a decent amount of time with each other during this break. Doing long distance (shorter than most people, but still far enough that I can't just visit whenever I want) has been hard and one thing we recognized, was the importance of being intentional about our time together.

As I saw the rainbow, I reflected upon God's
promise with all of Creation and His faithfulness

Final Comments
Blessings:
- God's faithfulness in all things

Prayer Requests:
- Discernment for churches that I am applying to
- Discerning next steps in my relationship with Visalia
- Be diligent + faithful in all that He places before me

Last but not least is the little bit of reflection that I have been doing during this term. God has really shown me that what I need to do is rely on Him. It seems silly, but there are times where I wonder where God is going to place me for work and I forget to pray about it. Sometimes I will be trying to figure out the future and plan everything, but I lose sight of the discernment process with God. Somehow or another, I try to be more self-sufficient, but in doing so, I realize how helpless I am to really figure things out. Thankfully, God has been constantly faithful and has shown me time and time again that He is preparing me slowly for things to come. I'm still not really sure about what the future may hold, but it is comforting to know that God will provide. On that same line of thought, God has really been placing it on my heart to be diligent and faithful. I used to tell other people about how faithful patience doesn't mean sitting on our butts and twiddling our fingers while waiting for God to work. What it means is that we have to faithfully do the best that we can, and wait upon God for the results. To recognize that our work and performance isn't what matters, but it is a proof of our faith. Works comes out from our faith, and I've been a little too laid back. God has been pressing me to be more proactive in my relationships and with relying on Him for what comes next after seminary!

3 year degree - (2 years + 1 Semester) = 1 Semester left

It has been another amazing semester, and this time its been 2 months since I last updated everyone. I can't believe how fast time has flown by, and at this point I only have 1 semester left at Gordon Conwell before I graduate and leave the "holy hill." Fall has just about disappeared and winter has firmly taken its place. So much has happened within these two months and a lot of my time has been filled with busy work. As a refresher from last time, my week usually consists of Monday-Wednesday, doing instacart from 1-6, and having class in the mornings. Thursdays is a full day of class while Fridays is morning class and then off to church to meet with people for discipleship/dinner/baptismal classes/fellowship in the evening. Saturdays are usually reserved for catching up with whatever work that I have not finished or meeting up with people, and Sunday is church from 9-3:30, then basketball from 3:30-6. This semester has been less stressful in terms of the work load from school, mostly because I don't have to learn a completely new language, but in terms of overall work; it has been significantly busier. There are weeks where more work is required, and my weeks start to look pretty stressful, especially around the final few weeks of class. In order to tackle the last three weeks, I had to come up with a little schedule to plan out how I was going to finish the rest of my papers within three weeks. Praise God that everything was finished on time and I was still able to spend a good amount of time working and doing ministry. Throughout serving at church and going through classes, I was constantly reminded of the importance of discipleship and evangelism. Last update I mentioned how it was strange that we as Christians can talk about evangelism, and yet not know our next door neighbors. During the rest of this semester, God has continued to place those kind of thoughts in my heart, and as the rest of the Core team at Cross Bridge and I discussed how we will be doing Sunday School and stuff like that, we agreed to the idea of running a survey to gauge where our congregation was at. The last 2 weeks of school was filled with work and also prepping the survey to gauge where our congregation was at spiritually and aiming to work together with them to learn how we can serve them better and grow together.

Besides all the school stuff, I was blessed with the opportunity to go on two trips. On Oct 13,2018, some friends from CHARIS and I hiked Franconia Notch. I had gone on hikes before, but never one that was longer than 4 hours to go up and down; this hike was around 9 hours. We left early at 5:30 AM to drive there, and started hiking around 8ish. We didn't finish the hike til close to 5, and by then my legs were done. I remember how much I complained before going on this hike and all the craziness that must have gone in my head to want to do this. I felt tricked and was under-prepared, but that's mostly because I didn't read the descriptions on the event page... I will say, it was a one of a kind experience, especially since it was raining, snowing and hailing all the way up and half of the way down. Besides the muscle pains, the freezing weather and the constant slipping, this hike was actually really fun and amazing. The company was great and the view was even more amazing. Gazing out from on top of a mountain and seeing the view, it is hard to say that the majesty and vastness of all creation was just a coincidence. As I looked out and practiced my photography skills, I could only stand in awe of God's creation and all the things He has made. The second trip was on Nov 11-13 with Visalia and our good buddies Monica and Peter. It was really nice to go on another trip with them and just spend time in good fellowship.  We took a few days to explore Rhode Island and eat all the cute or yummy foods we could find. We also discovered this amazing store that gave us a great deal on lotion and sea salt that made our hands feel as soft as a baby's butt (that was the way he advertised it to us... and it was true!!!). Besides all the fun places we visited, it was nice to see how they grew together and how their relationship changed since the last time we all went on a trip, and it was great to see how me and Visalia had changed and grown as well. I always enjoy the conversations that we have, and the way

that we encourage and lift one another up throughout the trip.

Another thing that happened in between these two months is the opportunity to preach at Cross Bridge again. On Nov 4, 2018, I was blessed with the chance to preach from 1 Thess 5:12-15. In the process of preparing for this sermon, there were a lot of things going on in the back of my head. I struggled on how I wanted to frame my sermon, as well as how I wanted to structure it. All in all, this felt like one of my least prepared sermons. As I practiced it, days before Sunday, for some reason, I could not get it down. It felt like no matter how many times I practiced it, I just wasn't ready to preach it. After some more time, I was able to memorize the gist of what I wanted to say. On Sunday as I got to church, I was confident that I would be able to preach my sermon, but I had recognized in my heart that this was probably one of the sermons where I didn't feel ready for. However, God seemed to have His own plan in mind, because as I got to church, I felt the presence of His Spirit ready to be at work. For some reason, different people kept coming up to me and offering me prayer, which had not happened last time. Sure one or two people prayed over me the first time, but this time... it was like God knew I needed to surrender this into His hands completely. This really reminded me of who was in control, and who was the one who moved hearts. After the sermon was over, different people came up and shared how the Spirit had convicted them through the sermon. Even though I say it all the time, it is different to watch as God works through my weakness.

In reflection of all that has happened within this last semester, I realize that it has been a season of preparing to transition from Seminary into the real world. As much as I loved seminary, God has

shown me that the next stage in my life isn't going to be here. Although I am still discerning where God will take me, the community that I have at school is one that I am about to move on from. Instead of trying to get to know everyone and make relationships with everyone, I realized that God was calling me to be more intentional about each relationship. Instead of the passing conversations that we have, I tried to instead spend time in getting to know my classmates and those in my church. Especially with how busy I was this semester, I had no choice but to be more intentional with meeting up with people instead of just letting it happen on its own. One specific group of people is my brothers. I never really had much time to hang out with them when I was younger, nor did I really take the time to. However, the more I reflect upon how my first ministry should be to my family, it makes me wonder why I shouldn't try to love them better and spend more time with them. During the last two months, we haven't really hung out all too much, but there has definitely been more of an effort to spend time with them, and bring them along on adventures. Visalia has also been really encouraging in pushing me to spend more time with them and being intentional about inviting them to eat and play. Last thing to reflect upon is the fear of the unknown. It was great being at seminary, but now that I am about to graduate, it is scary to think that my life is about to change again. Although God has constantly been showing that He always provides for me, I am still learning how to surrender my life to Christ completely. With the short December break that I have, I hope to use the time to start applying for churches as well as continue to discern God's will.

Summer's End, New Semester

It has been a while since my last update, so there is quite a bit to catch up on. The month of August started with us finishing up the rest of summer school. As mentioned in my previous post, there was some conflict within the employees that served at summer school, and the situation slowly came to an end. I can't say that there was an exact resolution to the problem, but without a doubt, God was working in it. Whether it be a greater understanding from the employees side to be considerate, or from the leader's side to be more aware of the cultural differences; at the end, God was clearly showing seeds of growth and change (albeit small). Finishing up with summer school means that what came next was the long awaited VBS. Now, right when Summer School ended, the weekend before VBS began, me and Visalia were blessed with the opportunity to attend the wedding of two friends from Gordon Conwell. It was an amazing time to celebrate in such a momentous occasion in their lives, and I am honored to have been a part of that. During that short weekend, it was also a great time to catch up with my old Suite mate who had graduated in May 2018. Going to this wedding also reminded me of just how fast life is going by. It never really occurred to me, but I only have one more year of seminary left, and then I'm out into the world to serve. This wedding was a good break from all the logistics and craziness of the summer, and it was also an entertaining wedding because of the musical and artsy talents of both the bride and groom. They performed some amazing music and even had a choreographed dance!!

Anyway, so VBS rolls around and this was one crazy week. Shout out to all my amazing volunteers who partnered with me to tackle this ministry that God had blessed our church with. I really could not have done it without the sacrifice of their time, and their daily perseverance. During this VBS, God taught me how little I can actually manage on my own, and even when it seems like everything is planned out and structured in our minds, things just don't always go the way we expect them to. Regardless of that, God always brings about His work, and carried out His plan to the fullest. The first day was pretty hectic, and I was running around trying to manage all the last minute details while teaching my classes. Thankfully, my partners and fellow volunteers helped fill in the gaps, and

were willing to go above and beyond to support the work that God was doing with the children that came. The next few days was more organized. Each day there would be more and more volunteers that took time out of their schedule to come and help out with VBS, and once again, I am just humbled by God's provision for His ministry. We were able to have a fun time while learning how to share the Gospel and God's love to the children that came. It wasn't easy teaching children the gospel, and at times it was actually quite stressful, but God continued to show me the fruit of our labor. Whether it be through the joy that the children showed, or the growth in the volunteers in learning to love the kids or lead them. VBS was a wonderful learning experience as well as another peek into what ministry looks like. I am constantly reminded that it isn't about me or how well I can plan or manage things, but in the end, it comes down to my willingness to ask for help from God and my community, and watch as He provides.

As VBS came to an end, I had a week or so left to hang around in New York before heading back up to school. It was a good time to just hang out with my family and friends and spend more time with them as most of my summer was pretty swamped. During this time, I was able to reflect more on the summer that had so quickly gone by, and recognized that God was really walking with me through it all. The crazy summer that I thought would be impossible to survive through was actually over and I felt that I was thriving through it. Besides the time to be with my family and friends, during the time I was back, I also had the opportunity to meet up with different pastors around the area. The English pastor at my church would have weekly meet-ups with other pastors in our area, and they would take

Punishments during youth ministry of course

the time to share and follow-up with one another. Whether it be situations at church, theology, or personal lives, they would meet up and encourage one another. To me, this was a really encouraging sight because this was something that I knew was rare. The more I thought about Pastoral ministry, the more I realized that I will no longer be in the Christian bubble of seminary, and things like "soul care" will look very differently. In seminary, most people there are ready to serve the Lord and care for each other, but outside of a seminary context, that is harder to find. It was encouraging to see pastors standing by each other and also feeding off one another's ideas. Literally, it reminds me of "iron sharpening iron" all within a context where they would also understand each other's cultural and theological context. While talking with different pastors at church, I also got more guidance on the ministry that God was leading me towards. I still want to do college and young adult if possible, but God also reignited my passion for youth ministry. I had the chance to serve with the youth at 3 Stone, and to spend the summer with them. Adolescents have really changed from when I was their age, and yet there are many things that are still so relatable. I was also blessed with the chance to lead a small group during Cross Bridge retreat in September. This year we decided to separate the youth from the adults/college and so I was tasked with being their leader. I was once again reminded of the joy of working with youths, and also the depth of the fears that they have growing up. God was once again teaching me how to love them not from some superior "seminarian" position, but to love them as He would.

School started on September 10, and it has been a pretty crazy month so far. Going in, I had a few fears. I was worried about how working for instacart would look, as I would have to spend my time driving around throughout the day, on top of ministry and school. Thankfully, everything went really well, and by the second week I pretty much had a set structure. I pretty work Monday-Wednesday afternoons and have classes every morning besides Wednesday, and instead of my original plan to take 3 classes and audit one, I ended up taking 4 classes. I am currently taking: Pastoral Counseling, Evangelism and Discipleship, Lifespan development, and Exegesis of Genesis. All the classes have been really great, and surprisingly my work load is much more manageable this year. Even though there is a lot more reading than previous years, because I am not taking a language this year, there is no need for constant drilling of vocab and grammar, which does take up most of my time. Anyway, my Pastoral Counseling and Lifespan Development classes have been mostly theory, so most of the learning comes from the triads that we have to form. In the triads, we take turns being the counselor, counselee and observer. My Evangelism and Discipleship class has been super practical. We are constantly discussing how Evangelism and discipleship looks in our day to day lives while bringing it back to Scripture each time. One of the biggest challenges that I got from that class was the fact that nowadays, we don't know our neighbors. I remember when there was a time where we would learn about the passage where Jesus tells us to love our neighbors, and we would be taught that it doesn't just mean our next door neighbors, but everyone is our neighbor. I remember taking that to heart, and wanted to get to know other people more and more. During this class, Dr. Singleton brought up some facts about how people nowadays very rarely even talk to their neighbors, much less know the names of 8 people that live beside them. That just struck me because here we are as Christians thinking about reaching out into the world and sharing the gospel with all kinds of people, but when it comes down to those that God has directly placed beside us, we fail to even recognize their names. It really hit me to consider that we as Christian's talking about loving others when we don't even take the time to get to know those directly around us!!! My Exegesis of Genesis class has also been amazing. We spend most of the class going through our translations of the Genesis text, and cementing theological truths that we may already know. The class has been really helpful whether in terms of theological grounding or practical applications to our daily lives. The class also helped to shed light on God's amazing plan, and His constant working through everything that has happened since the beginning of time. On top of Instacart and school work, I am also serving on the Cross Bridge core team this year, as well as participating as one of the leaders for their young adult fellowship (CHARIS). This has been a learning experience as well, and being in ministry really does give me joy.

Now for my reflections throughout the past few months. God has really been challenging me to rely on Him more and more. As I continue on this last year where graduation and the future seems so imminent, it is easy for me to start stressing about the unknown and fearing the life to come after seminary. Where will I go after seminary, what church will I serve at, when to take my relationship with Visalia to the next step, what will my finances look like, and so many other questions. During this time, I have been blessed with many people to share in these burdens with, as well as consult on how their journeys with God has gone. God has constantly shown that no matter the situation, no matter the future, He is always with me. He has always provided for me since day 1, and even now as I struggle with the unknown, I can know that all I have to do is be faithful. I have also been learning more and more in my relationship with Visalia. The sanctification is real, and I think God is constantly humbling me, whether it is to move beyond my pride and need to win in arguments or to learning how to be considerate and view things from other's perspective. Even though I think I am usually trying to think from a neutral perspective, I realize that many times I fail to be considerate and "feel" from their perspective as well. If that is the case, then am I really loving others if all I do is try to be rationally correct, but neglect the feelings? Another thing that God has been putting on my heart is this idea from a song I heard, "Ruin Me" by Jeff Johnson. As I was listening to the lyrics, I realized how true I wanted it to be for my life. I feel like I always go through life trying to have God work to my plans, or for Him to fill in the blanks for a set agenda that I already have. Like: "who should I be with..." but what if God calls me to singleness, or "God, this is my five year plan, help me be faithful through it..." but what if God has other plans. I wonder if instead of all the plans that I have come up with, shouldn't I instead be asking for God's plan to be carried out. The chorus just really stuck out to me especially when I realized that if I want to live the rest of my life serving God, then what that means is I need to follow God's plans and not my own. This doesn't mean that I don't plan things out and have some kind of structure to my future, but this means that I shouldn't be the one to dictate my decisions. Nor should I be doing anything for selfish gains or selfish reasons. God has been challenging me to live a life that is willing to surrender my plans, my desires and even my future into His hands, and that is something I know I will be working on even into the future!

Summer Classes and Preaching

During the first half of my summer, from June to July, I stayed up at Gordon Conwell to take two classes and serve with Cross Bridge. The two classes that I took were Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers and Preaching 2. I also started working with Instacart on the side during the small bits of free time that I had. God also blessed me with the opportunity to preach once at Cross

Bridge, and once in my home church at 3 Stone. From July to August, I will be interning with my church at 3 Stone. Logistically, everything has been going pretty smoothly, but at the same time, it has been one of the busiest summers that I've had so far. Starting with the Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers class; I have to say that this was one of the most applicable classes that I have taken. During the class we discussed three different types of care to give to our church community as well as a deeper understanding to what suicide is, and the theology behind it. The three different cares are: Prevention, Intervention, and Postvention which are basically guidelines on how we can care for a person with suicidal thoughts or past suicide attempts. I went into the class not really knowing much about suicide, and not really thinking that there was so much theology behind it, but the truth was also that I hadn't really heard much about suicide within my own church communities. Death is usually not talked about all that much, and much less suicide. It is a taboo, and because of that, there is many different stigmas that surround this topic. After taking this class, I recognized the importance of teaching and talking about suicide. Not to glorify it the way that the show "13 Reasons Why" does, but to have proper understanding of the causes for it, the signs to be wary of, and how we as a church/Christian community can come alongside those who struggle with suicidal thoughts. In the process of taking this class, me and my classmates were also required to write up our own theology of suicide and also a response protocol. I chose to do a response protocol for the Chinese churches that I attended, and hope to implement them within the church. We should never turn away from any conversations about suicide, and one of the most encouraging and helpful things that I learned from class was that; asking about suicidal intent or thoughts never increases or creates the thought of suicide. Instead of beating around the bush, studies show that actually asking someone about whether they have had suicidal thoughts does not plant the idea in their head, nor does it increase the risk of suicide. This is a huge game changer, because I think many people are scared to approach the topic because they think that it can spiral out of control or be the cause for suicidal thoughts to be planted in someone's head, but the reality is that in most cases it does not. Instead, or boldness to ask, may be an opportunity to care and listen and give the person an opportunity to share. There is just so much more amazing things that I have learned from my class that I can't possibly say in this short post, so feel free to hit me up and ask me more about this topic.

So after the one week intensive suicide prevention class, I had two weeks of no class where I just stayed up at Gordon Conwell to continue serving at the Cross Bridge and also to finish up work, as well as continue doing work for future classes. All the while, I was working with Instacart to just earn a bit of money on the side. Surprisingly, I actually learned a lot from the short time that I worked with them. Instacart is basically uber for your groceries, where I would go and buy groceries for a client, and bring it to their house. I had thought that this job would be nice and convenient because of its

flexibility, as well as its convenience. However, I didn't realize just how much this job would test my patience. My expectations were that I would start my shift, and jobs would just flow in and I would be going back and forth between stores and houses, but in reality, the first week or so was spent sitting in parking lots and just waiting. At first, I was really bitter. It was hard because my expectations weren't met, and the coding for the app that was used for the company didn't seem to make a lot of sense. It would have a map that showed which areas were "hot spots," where many orders would be coming in, but no matter where I went, I would find myself just sitting there. I was frustrated that I spent most of my time sitting around having nothing to do. It wasn't until I really took a step back and recognized the blessing of having something on the side to make a bit of money, but also because I spent time sitting around, I was able to do readings for other classes, as well as reflect and talk to God. Honestly, it is kind of funny how it takes a testing of my patience to remember just how easy it was to complain, and not remember my blessings. As I continued working with them, I was constantly reminded to be patient and to instead count each blessing that the Lord had given me; especially Visalia who was constantly encouraging me throughout my frustrations.

Towards the end of June, my Second preaching class at Gordon Conwell began. This class was mostly for teaching us how to understand the culture and the congregation that we were speaking to. The first class mostly introduced us to preaching and helped set the foundations for good exegetical work, while the second class focused more on the styles of preaching and understanding the congregation. This class was also really great and really helpful to practice preaching. I still have this lingering fear every time I have to preach, but I get more and more excited as I prepare my sermons.

Sure, most of the time I am scratching my head and stressing over the text or how to apply it with the congregation, but at the same time; one thing I realized is that the sermon isn't just for those listening, but that it works through me too. Every time I am preparing to preach a sermon and I start worrying or doubting, I realize... my sermon is speaking directly into that. My sermons weren't just God's words to my listeners, but also God's words to me. The first sermon I had to preach for class was from Philippians 2:12-18, and my topic of focus was on complaining. It was funny because it was right before preparing that sermon that I was stressing about the whole instacart stuff, and not being content with how things were working out. Not only did I prepare 2 sermons for my classes, but I was also blessed with the opportunity to preach once at Cross Bridge and once at 3 Stone. Both times were really exciting and scary as they were my first actual opportunities to preach at a church. The Lord definitely taught me a lot through each sermon I preached, and I appreciated the opportunities to practice. I am slowly learning the importance of being a pastor, and the impact that sermons can have on every person that comes in contact with it. Another small funny thing that I realized from my sermons was that they were all somehow connected in one way or another. The sermon that I preached at Cross Bridge was on Galatians 4:8-20, and the topic was standing firm in our faith. I focused on how we need to respond to our faith and that even though our faith isn't defined by our works, that our work is in support of our faith. The second sermon that I had to preach for class, which was a few days after the sermon from church, was preached on James 2:14-26, where I focused on the same exact topic, but expanded more on how faith and works actually stands hand in hand. The sermon I preached at 3 Stone was on Romans 9:30-10:4 where I focused on Righteousness not being centered on works of the law. At the same time, I was able to pull it back to works of faith that were important. I just thought it was funny how all these passages were somehow tied together with faith and works, and how each one became its own individual sermon with different examples and applications.

Shortly after coming back, I had the opportunity to serve at summer school with NYCAC. Part of it was really nostalgic, but clearly I did not expect the huge monster that I was walking into. Before

coming in, there was already a bit of a scruffle amongst the leaders and staff, but when I came back to New York and started serving, the situation had evolved and taken a bad turn. I'll spare the details, but a general understanding is that the dilemma was birth from misunderstandings that came from cultural and generational gaps between the staffs. Small misunderstandings spiraled out of control to become giant issues, and being someone who is serving at church, it was hard to watch. It was hard to be neutral and recognize both sides were right, but were also wrong. Honestly, as stressful and difficult of a situation this was, God was truly blessing me with the opportunity to take a glimpse of what ministry sometimes can look like, and blessing me with the opportunity to learn. I was in a place where I could be a neutral ear to listen, while work with the pastors to learn how to best approach and reconcile the situation. I definitely don't think that I know how to solve the situation, nor think that something like this can just go away, but I definitely see the Lord working and transforming me and teaching me to show patience and consideration. Besides the mess that was caused, I was in charge of teaching the gospel hour portion of the day. That meant, 1 hour a day I would teach the kids about the bible. Throughout the three weeks that I have been serving, I have changed my schedule to basically review the bible story daily, and to work on memorizing the bible verses while playing games with them. On Wednesday's I would invite a different pastor each time to come and share God's words with the kids, thus giving the

kids the opportunity to hear from different perspectives, as well as continue introducing this summer school as a ministry that we all are participating in. Even though kids are still crazy and wild, I was surprised to hear that some of them actually wanted more bible and more gospel. With 2 weeks remaining in summer school, I hope that if the kids don't remember all the stories, that they would continue to remember the power of Jesus to save and the joy that He brings. Throughout this time, I also had to start prepping for VBS. It was a struggle to decide whether or not to pick this up and it was really hard to figure out the logistics, but God literally always provides. He blessed me with wonderful friends and co-workers that came alongside me and supported me throughout the process. He blessed me with their willingness to help out, and also their willingness to share their thoughts, experiences, and advice. There is no way that I could have done it on my own, and when I first accepted to serve by leading VBS I thought it would be a difficult and impossible task. But as God brought people alongside me, and as they showered grace and sacrificed their time and energy to help me, I was able to catch another glimpse of what ministry looks like when it is in the Lord's hands.

Now for personal reflection, these last two months have gone by so quickly even though they have been soo busy. Jumping into it, I was scared that I would not be able to preach as often as I did, nor be able to finish up all the class work. However, God continues to show that He provides in miraculous ways. He continued to show my His blessings in my life daily, from; providing a side job, prepping sermons, teaching at summer school, encouragement from friends and family, and so many more things. Over the last two months, because of the busyness though, I recognized that I was falling short with my time with God. Honestly, there is no excuse that I can give on cutting out of my intentional time with God, but in my head, I was able to reason it away. It really wasn't until I had to

preach at 3 Stone, that I remembered the importance of prayer, and the importance of relying on God. Even though I knew that I would not have been able to get through this first half of the summer on my own, the moment it finished, I saw my pride build up and form strong walls around my heart. My heart felt like it was hardening from the effort that I thought I had shown, but God once again reminded me that it wasn't by my own power, but purely through His support. I was reminded that what I need isn't more of me, but to rely more on Christ. Within the last two months, God has also provided opportunities to be visited by friends and spend time with Visalia which was really sweet as well. I also was blessed with an opportunity to play some part in my brother's life. Even though it was in the form of a bet, I was praying for ways to care for them more, and God definitely provided in small ways. Overall, this first half of the summer has been fun and crazy, and a great reminder that I still have so much to learn, and that God is constantly working in my life daily. Please keep praying for my future ministry as God reveals more and more of what it means to be a pastor and where He might want me to serve. Also pray for VBS, for teachers and volunteers to be willing to serve, and for us to share love and truth of Christ with the kids.

End of Spring Semester

It's been a while since I last shared how everything has been going. Gordon Conwell is finally experiencing some Spring/Summer weather and no more snow!! Over the last two months God has been working in miraculous ways and has shown me His provision. Let's start off with finishing the Spring semester. April to May called for the end of my Spring Semester which meant that I had to get a good amount of papers done by May 4, so that I wouldn't have to worry about school work when I went on my CHARIS Retreat from May 4-6. Finishing my papers wasn't too stressful, instead I actually felt quite a bit of peace as I was writing them. Within the two weeks before the semester ended, I wrote my Revelation Exegesis Paper, my Church History Paper on Hudson Taylor, and my OT Interp Paper. My Exegesis paper was on Revelation 5:1-7 which talks about John seeing for the first time, the Lion-Lamb. His expectations of a majestic lion were replaced with the sight of a lamb that was slain. This passage really brings home the fact that Christ is not like any other conqueror out there. We normally think that conquering is through power and military might or such, but here Christ shows that He has conquered through the sacrifice and death on the cross. Through His death, He was made worthy and deserving of praise. Through His death and resurrection, He conquered over sin and death itself and redeemed us. Anyway, the rest of the school semester went by quite smoothly and it was a really nice time of finishing up well.

During the month of April, I learned how to figure out insurance and other paperwork with post-car crash stuff. On April 2nd, I was in a car crash that completely wrecked my car. That meant the in the days to come, I had to learn how to handle the insurance and say goodbye to Destiny (my car) and look for another mode of transportation. For a few days after the crash, everything still felt so surreal to me. I was glad that I was completely uninjured from the accident, but it did leave tiny scars in my brain. There is tiny bits of trauma still left in my heart, but nothing too big. Anyway, it was just a really confusing and depressing time of figuring out how to talk with the insurance about the situation and try to repeal the tickets that were charged to me. However, during this time of helplessness, God really showed me His provision. The first would be a major shout-out to my friend Cameron who drove me down to Connecticut a few days after my car crash. I needed to go back to the auto-shop to junk my car, but that shop was all the way back in Connecticut where I had crashed (that's a two and a half hour drive one way!!!). In the midst of him working through a tough and work-filled semester, as well as planning for his wedding, he graciously drove me there and back. God also showed me his provision when it came to me serving and doing ministry at my church. I knew how it felt to be in Gordon Conwell and not have a car and I was worried that I would be helpless and stranded once again, unable to get to church or fellowship. However, there was not a moment when I felt like I wasn't able to get where I needed to because of the kindness and generosity of my friends at Gordon. Shout-out to Petek and Enoch and his family who were willing to lend me their car whether to drive to church, groceries, etc. I honestly don't know what I would do without their generosity. After handling the insurance stuff, next came buying another car to get around. The first time I had to buy a car, I was scared and nervous cuz I had never done it before and honestly, I knew nothing about cars. It was due to God's providence that He blessed me with Destiny (my old car, may she rest in peace... or pieces), so I knew that He would continue to provide; and that is just what He did. God worked in multiple way during this new search for a car, but most prominently, it was once again through the generosity and kindness of the people around me. First and foremost would be the offers that I had received. My pastor was gracious enough to help me send an email to the members of the church concerning my circumstances and need for a car, and different people contacted me about cars. What broke my heart wasn't just the fact that people were willing to step to the plate in my time of need, but also their willingness to meet my needs. Being a Seminarian that did not have a job, I could only count on the graces of my parents for a car, and so my budget wasn't that high. However, the two final offers that I had to juggle between were both from friends that purposely lowered the cost to match what I could offer. In the end, I chose the car that best fit my needs, but that is to say that both offers were given to me in consideration of my circumstances, and were more than I deserved. On top of this, God showered me with even more love through the friends that were willing to support me financially. My childhood friends from church were willing to step into my life during my time of helplessness and

assist me financially. God never left me to struggle through this burden on my own, but instead constantly showed me that He was there and that He had prepared friends and family to intercede for Him to my heart. Now I am blessed with a Toyota Camry that actually looks just like my old car Destiny, but just slightly bigger. 

After school ended, I was blessed with the chance to attend CHARIS Retreat with my fellowship, and focus on what it meant to reach out and spread the gospel to those around us. Retreats have always been a nice and relaxing time for me to enjoy fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters and also the process what has been happening recently. The retreat was a well deserved rest, and I really enjoyed having the time to be reminded of God's majesty in His creation. Shortly after, I was able to return home to NY where I had the chance to enjoy time with my family and friends. It was a relaxing time as well as a good time to prepare for the summer to come. In the coming Summer I am intending to take three classes: World Missions, Suicide Prevention for Professional Caregivers, and Preaching II. I am also interning at my home church in NY and helping out with the summer school program that is happening. Being back home for the month of May was a good time to catch up with friends and family and to plan out the rest of the semester to come. Recently, I also attended a wedding down in Florida. It was my first time being one of the groomsmen and I really didn't know what to expect. However, this wedding turned out to be a major blessing, and a really amazing time. I got to experience some things for the first time like: going to an indoor shooting range and having hibachi. Above all though, I had an amazing time sharing and chilling with the other groomsmen. We arrived

in Florida 2 days before the wedding, and spent the time just chilling and celebrating the next life stage of our friend. I was nervous at first about how a bunch of random guys from different walks of life would interact with each other over the next few days, but it turned out to be a really amazing time. The first night we spent like 5 hours talking into the night about all sorts of topics: theological, moral, just-for-fun. The next morning those conversations continued for another 5 hours XD. Honestly, God blessed the time and the people that I met, and it was honestly such an amazing time.

My reflections for these past few months have been out of the book "Meaning of Marriage" by Tim

Keller. As I start thinking about graduation and what is to come next, I find myself excited but scared at the same time. I'm excited to finish my degree and go out into the world to serve and love, but I am scared because then I will no longer be in the safe bubble that I have always been in, and there I will have to be responsible in areas that I have never been before. Especially when I think about the prospects of the next step in my relationship with Visalia, I am excited but also wary of the new challenges that it will bring. My reflections have been really helpful on understanding what it means to be in a relationship and what it means to love. I think I've always had a fear that Tim Keller puts really well; "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God." I have always been afraid of being known and not loved, but God has loved me in a way that knows me and shows genuine care and love for me. As I reflect on my fear, I recognize that this is probably not only my fear but that of those around me as well. This then reminds me, what does it mean to love those around me? Am I loving them the way that Christ calls us to love, or is it once again just words out of my mouth, backed by zero action? I am constantly learning how to not just speak or say words that sound good or pleasing to the ears, but act in a way that is pleasing to God as well.

Reflective March

The month of March has been really reflective. My classes have progressed as usual, and I have found myself having great conversations everywhere I went. My Hebrew class has finally finished going through the textbook, and now we are translating through Genesis 22. Through that class and my Old Testament Interpretation class, I am actually finding Hebrew to be quite enjoyable, and really just a treasure trove of information that I had never expected to find. It's funny how God turned my most difficult class this year into one that I thoroughly enjoyed. In my OT Interp class, we learned to do an overview chart, and was required to do one for Genesis. It was a long and time-consuming assignment, but I definitely saw and realized things that I had not noticed before or thought of before in the book. For example Jacob and his situation with Laban. I have always pinned Jacob as a sneaky and sly fellow who tricked his uncle, but clearly there is more to it, as God was the one who told Jacob in a dream what was to happen. My Exegesis of Revelation class has also been really great. It kind of feels like the Sunday School I have at NYCAC, but there is definitely more time to go into the Greek text and see how everything is connected. My Church History class surprisingly intertwined with the Revelation class in that one of the books that we were assigned had to do with the "Left Behind" Series. This was just a good time of reflection on end times theology and how Christianity might have been affected by it.

Besides the classes, the rest of the month has, as mentioned before, very reflective. The two factors that brought that about was: the three storms that we were hit by and reading  "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan.

During the month of March, we were consecutively hit by three storms, one a week for three weeks. Two of the storms had actually caused us to lose electricity up here for 2-3 days each. At first, when we were hit with the first storm and lost electricity, I was rather annoyed. My immediate response was to complain due to the lack of electricity, the lack of heat, the inconvenience of not being able to cook, etc. There was little to no work being done and to top it all off, we kept receiving emails that told us predicted times of electricity coming back which was constantly changing and being pushed back. There was just inconvenience after inconvenience, and discomfort after discomfort. Actually, truth be told, I did enjoy the fact that everyone had to come out of their caves and interact with each other and also the fact that some of us went to play in the snow. As an extrovert, I actually appreciated everyone being forced out into the open, but at the time, all I could think of was how I was inconvenienced by the weather. On the last day of the storm however, it occurred to me that all I was doing was complaining... I often claim that New Yorkers are great at complaining, and being a pure-blooded one myself... meant I would complain about every little thing. For some reason, I failed to recognize the idol that I had unknowingly built up for myself; called comfort. The moment I wasn't comfortable, I complained, and that in itself really shook me. I didn't realize how much I idolized comfort and how easily dismissive I was of all that God had blessed me with. It was a reality check to realize that things that I am so used to like: electricity, heat, food... all of these came from God, but because of how I was used to having them, I did not even consider that they might have been blessings. Thankfully, I was able to take a step back on Saturday and reflect on just how much I've been taking the blessings of the Lord for granted and not attributing to Him what was rightfully His to begin with. Funny thing was, the next day at church, as I was sitting through service, I felt the Lord convicting me of not resting and relying on Him through the storms, and felt that I needed to humble myself and not just focus on my comfort. Towards the end of the service, I felt like I had started the reconciliation process with God, and immediately after the service ended, I received and email saying that electricity was finally restored. I like to believe there are no coincidences in life, and in no way am I saying that God did this to teach me a lesson, but I definitely believe that He used this and timed it in a way that I was able to reflect and remember who He was and what He had done in my life. When the next storm and black out hit, my heart and mind was ready to reflect on the blessings God had given me, and to rejoice instead of complain through the situation.

"Forgotten God" by Francis Chan was also another cause to my daily reflection. I decided to read a couple pages each day as part of my routine before I went to bed, and it has thoroughly changed my nights. I have never really been one to read books on my own, unless I was required to, however, Visalia had lent me this book so I felt like I should read it and return  it to her soon. To my surprise, this book was convicting and so crazy. Literally every page I read there was something that struck straight at my heart and forced me to think more and process what was happening. The purpose of the book is a reminder of who the Holy Spirit is and His role in our lives. I definitely recognize that sometimes, He is forgotten and pushed aside, and even to some degree neglected within the Christian faith. Reading this book really reminded me of just how I had been viewing and abusing the Holy Spirit in my life and how I should be seeing the Holy Spirit. Instead of just as some mystical spirit that we have no contact with, the Holy Spirit is very truly God and dwells among us. I realized that though my head knew this, my heart and life was directed in a way that didn't take into account the ways I was living against what the Holy Spirit might have wanted. I definitely took the Holy Spirit for granted multiple times and even tried to manipulate it. There were also times where I feared asking too much of the Holy Spirit, in fear of not having my prayers answered, and of course there were times where I tried to pray prayers in a way that sounded humble enough to be answered. I was not treating the Holy Spirit as part of the God-head, and instead been neglecting my relationship with him. This was a real wake up call, especially since I remembered a time when I had relied on the Holy Spirit for every conversation I would have and every prayer that I prayed. Somehow, someway, I had fallen short of that, but God had reminded me once again and been teaching me this year how to live a life reflective of what I say I believe in.

Like usual, I had a reading week, and this time it just so happened to fall on Easter Sunday as well. The whole week I was back, I was able to catch up and have really great conversations with my friends and family. Not only that, I was able to spend time with my family and Visalia, as well as witness the baptism of a childhood friend. Praise God, for all the people that were baptized this year, and for the chance to witness many Christians that I had watched grow up to become the man and woman that they are now, and that God was molding them to be. This reading week I also started to talk with Visalia about the prospects of a future together. The process was challenging and exciting at the same time. Challenging because of all the uncertainties and fears that we had of the future, which brought about a lot of stress and worry, but exciting because of the possibility of a future together. Throughout this month, we had been discussing it and asking our friends and family members to keep us in their prayers. We definitely spent a good amount of time stressing over details and logistics, as well as the fear of not knowing what would happen in the future, or even where we would be in the future. I thought that these were healthy first steps, and truth be told, I am still a little shook that they happened. In my mind, I am still thinking that I am barely an adult, but here I am considering and thinking about starting a new life with someone. It terrifies me that I can't be sure of the future and that I can't just plan everything out because there are just many different uncertainties, but I think God has really been proving himself faithful and reminding me of His righteousness daily. More reflection happened on April 2nd as I was driving from New York with two friends to go back Gordon Conwell. The snow had hit us pretty hard, and it just so happened that it would be snowing

the whole time I would be driving up, and stop right after I was done, or so the online weather reports claimed. While driving through Connecticut we ended up in a car accident that led to my car becoming completely destroyed. I will explain in more details down below, but that situation completely took me by surprise. I always think these things happen to other people, but I am a good driver and this won't happen to me, or I am careful so I won't let this happen to me. Little did I know what God had in store for me to learn that day. From the start of the crash til figuring out insurance and car rentals and getting back safely to Gordon Conwell, I felt like my mind was just stuck in this "goal oriented" mindset. I knew what I needed to do and how I had to accomplish it, and so I didn't have the time to really sit down and realize... I just survived a car crash. Praise God that no one was injured besides my friend, who broke her hand, but everyone else seemed to be fine. I am actually completely fine, my back feels a little bit sore, but my neck and body feels like there isn't anything wrong with it. No one needs to tell me twice how blessed I am to survive that crash, because it was pretty crazy.

Upon the drive back and more reflection on my own, I realized just how much God could have been teaching me through this. I definitely think that there is an aspect of humility. I had taken pride in driving manual, and was also judging the other drivers that were slowly making their way through the storm on the day of the drive. Lo and behold, as I was joking about them, I ended up in a car accident myself. Another lesson that I think God brought across in my mind was how I had taken this car for granted. When I was first blessed with this car, I remember how much God had provided in my time of need, and how blessed I was to be able to bless other people by driving them around. I definitely appreciated and was thankful for the car. But somehow, somewhere down the line, I started to desire and want a better car. I was happy with mine, but not satisfied. I started desiring newer, better, shinier, and started taking my car for granted. I definitely believe the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. It has been something I have struggled with all my life, but what I failed to realize once again, was that this also was a blessing. The giving was a blessing, but the taking away also was one. I was once again reminded of the fact that God protects and provides. The last lesson that I gleaned so far was that God was reminding me to trust and rely on Him for the future. I barely even know what is going to happen today, much less one year from now. I had been totally stressing and worrying about the future, and all that might happen, that I forgot to consider and think about today and right now. I almost forgot to recognize and notice how much God had been working in me already, and that He without a doubt will stay faithful in the future as well!


So the million dollar question of what happened during the crash. So basically, I was driving on the highway and the snow conditions were pretty bad. I was probably going around 60ish miles in Connecticut when the car in front of me starts slowing down out of nowhere. I follow suit and start applying the brakes as well to match his deceleration. Now you can imagine that while driving and suddenly slowing down, my car was pretty close to his. Suddenly that car switched lanes to the right lane while I just kept slowly braking. As soon as he left my lane, I saw that there was a car completely stopped right in front of me, and before I could react, I pressed hard on the brake, but was not able to stop the car, and smashed straight into the car in front of me. The airbags deployed, and I remember the horrible smoke that was starting to fill the car. I immediately got out of the car and went to help my two passengers as well as telling the person in the car in front of me to call the police. I do not know what happened, but there are two stories so far. One is that I hit the car in front of me, propelling it forward to also crash into the car in front of her. The other story told by the car all the way in the front was that she felt two impacts, one from the middle car that I hit, and another impact when I hit the middle car and propelled it forward. All I know is that the cars were completely stopped in the middle of the highway, and I could not react in time to stop. After the crash, my car was towed while my friends were taken to a hospital to be treated. Thankfully the truck driver dropped me off to rent a car, which I was then able to drive to pick up my friends from the hospital and then drive back to campus. It was a hectic day filled with craziness, and praise God for the safe trip back to school. Thankfully, no one was hurt except for my friend in the passenger seat who injured her hand and forehead. Now I am once again without a car, but I know that if God provided the first car, He will definitely provide again. Please keep me and my friends in your prayers.