Seasons are changing~

Fall is finally kicking in and some of the trees are starting to change colors. The scenery up here is really pretty and super relaxing, perfect for studying. Over the past few weeks, there has not been too much going on. The usual studying and working reading and seeking the Lord. I do have to say though, that there were many moments that God showed me just how much he has been providing for me and continues to do so. He has also been continually challenging me to step out in faith and outside of my comfort zones. One such occasion was actually grocery shopping. To some this may seem like a simple thing, but for someone like me without a car; it was not so easy. Two weeks ago I was out of food and needed to go grocery shopping, but the people that I usually asked to bring me along was actually completely busy with their workload, and was unable to make time to go themselves. I was left between a rock and a hard place and felt God pushing me to post and ask the general populace of Gordon Conwell students. This may seem simple, but throughout my time here I have been struggling with just how well I have been connecting with people here, and a big part of me was fearful of the fact that I may not get any responses and would be left unanswered. The fear wasn't so much that I wouldn't be able to get groceries, but more so the fear of rejection. However God gave me the courage to ask and lo-and-behold, people whom I didn't even meet before were willing to offer me a ride. This was just a true testimony to the community up here and the fact that God continually has my best interests at heart.

This week was our second reading week, and what that meant was students were even more sparse. I spent most of this time working on my paper for Spiritual Formation class. The paper was to formulate our own "Rule Of Life" which was basically a guideline to live our lives with. This focused on different areas in my life starting with the relationships with people around me and being able to identify my key relationships. Then different things like spiritual gifts, desires, vision and mission to frame the rule of life. All these would later come together to form a direction for me to follow and live out my life. During this process, I was given time to process through exactly where I felt God calling me to and different areas of my life where he was working in. There has never been more clear moments in my life where I was able to spend time just listening to God.

Speaking of listening to God, that has been the new spiritual discipline that God has been calling me to. A discipline of solitude which... if you know me... that's like the complete opposite of my very being. However I think this is where a lot of growth has been happening. All my life I talk and talk and talk and yea I listen to God and I serve him and I do his will, but I don't think I've ever just taken time to sit alone in his presence to hear what he may be saying to me. Being up here on the "Holy Hill" I have had the opportunity to spend many nights praying and worshipping and listening to God. We have a chapel for prayer called the Wilson Chapel, and that has been a place of comfort and peace whenever I need to be alone and in God's presence. There is just something different about listening in silence without trying to just pour out my problems on Him. I have also been practicing a style of prayer and meditation on God's word called Lectio Divina, and that helped a lot in focusing and spending time in God's word (More information on Lectio Divina below).

The chapel at Sisters of Notre dam MA

Besides the regular opportunities to spend in God's presence, yesterday 11/9, I attended an event called a "Soul Sabbath." This was basically where students who signed up were taken to a Jesuit Nunnery and invited to spend a whole day in solitude and silence. Now who in their right mind would do something like this?? Well I was required to attend it for class so I had no choice, but you can probably imagine the dread that I felt coming into this time. I thought I spent enough time alone and in solitude, but here I was required to spend the whole day in silence, even lunch time was to be done without conversing. However instead of it being the worst day of my life, it was actually one of my greatest days after attending seminary. The passage I meditated on was Roman 8:1-17, and literally everything about that passage stood out to me. On that day, verse 17 was the one that struck me the most; to share in Christ's sufferings. I was really stuck on  that verse for a really long while, because I really had to think, did I really understand the extent of Christ's sufferings. In my last update I mentioned a little about how I felt God calling me to possibly missionary work, but even more than that on the whole concept of whether or not I was ready to pay the cost to follow Christ. At the time I should have known, but God was literally tapping on my shoulders and demanding a response, but instead I brushed him off and told him to come back another day. Ever since that moment, I had been feeling spiritually dry and just continually coming before God to speak again and for forgiveness. It was during this moment at the "Soul Sabbath" where I heard God talking to me again. While thinking about Christ's sufferings, I trailed to think about what kind of sufferings, and for who did he suffer... when I got that far, I decided to take a walk outside and I saw an amazing scenery. I was never much of a nature person, but yesterday I just found myself staring endlessly at the trees and leaves falling. A number of different thoughts started flowing through my head as I was experiencing the life that God was placing before my eyes. Of the many different things God woke me up to, the one that resounded the loudest was his desire for the people. For a while I have been wallowing in self discovery and where I stand with the Lord and my fears and weaknesses in seminary, but I have forgotten the one thing that has always been on God's heart and that I know he has placed on my heart, and that is a heart for the people. I haven't been taking time to really build and foster relationships, but instead I have been just focusing on myself alone. What happens when you place an extrovert in a place by himself for a long time and he only focusses on himself?? =>He starts to suffocate and die XD. God reminded me of my heart for people and though it'll take a while for me to mold and fuse everything he has taught me towards loving people, I haven't felt so filled and excited for a long time since yesterday.

This is the most people that I have

ever seen the Great Hall

There were also different events that happened throughout the last few weeks. We had an open house for prospective students for a weekend which was exciting to just see the campus finally filled with people. There were a few extra students that joined our classes to spectate and lunch was more exciting with more people in the cafeteria. There was also a small Halloween party where some people dressed up and just enjoyed each other's company. Who knew that parties actually happened here in seminary?? We weren't only doing bible study or doing worship XD, there was actual dancing (which apparently some people love and are great at).





Lectio Divina basically starts off with inviting God's presence and than starting off with reading the passage slowly. Instead of trying to analyze and exegete(expound/interpret) the passage and figure out all the quirks behind it, while you slowly read the passage, if anything jumps out to you, focus on that [Lectio]. Re-read it a few times and meditate on what you think God is saying in those words, and then what is the Holy Spirit stirring in your heart about those words [Meditatio]. Next we pray over what we feel God calling us to through the word and just thank him for what he has revealed and continue in conversation with him [Oratio]. Lastly is to contemplate over everything that has happened: the passage you read, the words that you felt the Holy Spirit put on your heart, the words God may have spoken to you. This is the most important and both my professors that taught this advised us to take the time to physically write down what we felt God speaking during those times. It is easy to have a wonderful experience with God, and then just walk away without really taking the time to contemplate and thoroughly think through it all. T
More Info => https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lectio_Divina#The_four_movements_of_Lectio_Divina